An Unexpected Change
by Clary.Smith
Summary: Harry Potter has a secret he doesn't want anyone to find out: He is abused. He has been hiding it for years, so why would anyone find out now? He's a practiced liar... Well, he doesn’t count on one 14 year old Lily Evans, his mother, accidentally time travelling to his time and becoming more and more suspicious of his behaviour until asking Severus Snape for advice of all people! A
1. Dursleys

**Summary: It's Harry's fourth year and on top of his fair share of problems (the Dursleys and the Triwizard Tournament to name a few), he has to deal with his parents and the marauders surprising him on the Hogwarts Express.**

**TRIGGER WARNING: Contains mentions of child abuse and eating disorders**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters.**

**Rated T**

Harry lay on his flat back, breathing as though he had been running. The vivid dream he had just woken up from and the burning scar on his forehead, weren't the only factors contributing to the pain he felt.

He tried to sit up very slowly, careful of the many open wounds littering his body. In the end, he gave up and decided to remain flat on his back. He couldn't bear to strain the gashes on his back just yet. He would have to get up soon enough, it just didn't have to be NOW.

Harry closed his eyes tightly, trying to block out the many aching areas of his body. He didn't want to think about the major cause of his pain... he couldn't. And it made no sense to beat himself up about something he couldn't change, he was being beaten frequently enough as it was.

It was a lot easier to focus on trying to remember his dream. Voldemort, Wormtail and the old man... it had all been so very confusing... And he knew this was a repetition of a dream he had already had once at the beginning of the summer holidays. The pain in his scar must have been caused by the mere memory of it.

Harry suppressed a groan. No, nothing could distract him from the pain and he wasn't capable of focusing on anything right now. He must have been thrashing around a lot for it to hurt this much. Luckily, no one seemed to have woken up. The thought of waking one of them up alone made Harry shudder.

He knew he couldn't put this off any longer. He needed to get up soon or... Harry didn't even dare to think about the consequences of him not getting up on time.

The dream wasn't his primary concern at the moment. No, he needed to do something to make himself more presentable for his journey to Hogwarts today. He quickly put on his glasses and turned on the lamp beside him.

'It won't hurt that much if I do it fast', Harry thought, as he took a deep breath, ready to jump out of bed. He had tried to prepare himself for the onslaught of pain that came with this sudden movement, but he could never have prepared himself for such an immeasurable amount.

A wave of dizziness overcame him, and Harry had to steady himself on the bedside table. He gritted his teeth in order to keep himself from screaming out from the pain.

It had never hurt this much before! And this hadn't even come close to the worst punishment he had ever received! Just what was wrong with him?

Granted, the overall strain over the summer was higher than it had been any summer before. He was punished more often and given less food than ever before in order to keep him in check after what had happened to Aunt Marge.

Harry decided not to dwell on the origin of his pain for now. He needed to do something about the pain itself and assess the situation. It couldn't be that bad... Maybe he was just overreacting...

The mirror on the inside of his wardrobe door proved him wrong. Harry almost stepped back in fright after setting eyes on the boy in the mirror.

Harry had always hated looking at his reflection. Which is why he had been avoiding it as much as he could this whole summer. He knew he would have to face it eventually, but he had been putting it off time and time again... He had expected it to be bad. A summer of hell obviously left its marks, but, yet again he was surprised at what he saw in front of him.

A skeletal child looked back at him. If he didn't know he was fourteen, he would have guessed him to be a lot younger.

Most of his bear upper body was covered in different shades of bruises, the darkest ones those covering his protruding ribcage. His arms and legs looked like mere sticks covered in purple, blue and green, which not even his thin pyjama trousers could hide.

His back was in even worse shape. There was no unmarked area to find there.

Inflamed dark red and black gashes with something white in them were there to hide the pale skin underneath. Harry quickly turned back around. His back was too hard to look at.

His eyes wandered up to his face. It was thinner and paler than it had ever been. Dark rings surrounded his dim green eyes.

Never in his life had he been this skinny. This was more than just skinny. He looked like he would drop dead from starvation any second now! Which he supposed was actually the case...

Harry couldn't do anything but stare for a while. He didn't know how long he had been standing there, staring at the foreign boy in the mirror. And he had no idea how to convince his friends that everything was alright.

Because everything was. Alright, that is.

**A/N: So, this is an AU story that kind of follows the events of the fourth book with the only changes being that Harry still suffers from the harm done to him by his abusive relatives over the summer and acts OOC because of that. Yeah, and there are some guests from the past, which also changes a lot. **

**Oh, and Harry looks like Lily...**

**(Er...maybe there ARE a lot of changes.)**

**The story is very slow and I'll write it the way I think it would turn out. It's not because I want to drag it on, it's really just because I see it that way. I don't try to make it terrible on purpose.**

**If you hate the story, just stop reading it, please, there's no reason to review on the many things that aren't to your liking, which I already know are bad.**


	2. Train?

Lily Evans was confused.

She was supposed to meet up with Sev on the train like they did every year. But her best friend was nowhere to be found. And that wasn't even the most disconcerting thing about her current situation.

Sev wasn't the only missing student from her year. No, she had yet to see one familiar face among the students she came across. Not one person she knew; every compartment was filled with strangers. Maybe she was on the wrong train...?

No, that was not possible. It was the right time and the right platform!

But, one thing she was certain of: The passengers weren't students from her school. Which is why this must have actually been the wrong train. And she needed to get off it. Now. She hurried to the closest exit she could find. She looked at her watch and released a sigh of relief. She would make it just before the train left.

Sadly, she forgot to think about unforeseen events.

Just as she was about to walk down the stairs, four people came running up on them. She was so focused on getting off, that she didn't realise it until the last second, when it was too late to prevent a collision.

She fell to the floor and hit her head painfully on the wall behind her. She looked up, only to see a familiar face with its trademark conceited grin, holding out a hand to help her up. She glared at him fiercely, but was too preoccupied with hurrying to get off the train before it-

Before she could even think about getting off the train, she could feel the familiar movement that indicated the beginning of the journey to Hogwarts. Or in this case, wherever this train planned to go.

"Great, just great." She muttered under her breath scowling at the people who were the reason for her misery yet again.

"Hey, hey," James Potter said, raising his hands innocently. "We didn't do anything. We just didn't want to miss the train."

Peter Pettigrew just nodded eagerly, while Sirius Black continued, "Yeah, exactly. What were you doing anyway? Did you forget your Snivellus outside?"

"Don't call him that!" Lily warned him angrily.

"Why? He's such a sneaky, malicious, little twat, who-"

"I said don't call him that!"

Lily screamed, drawing her wand. She was getting really angry now. Why was it, that two of the only people she knew on this train, were the people she despised the most?! How was that fair?

Black seemed to know what was good for him and stopped talking.

"We're very sorry, Lily," Remus said, throwing her a genuinely apologetic look. "Did you want to get off the train?"

Lily sighed. Yes, she didn't like being with these people, but these were still the only familiar faces on this train. She needed to inform them of the situation.

"Yes. I wanted to get off, because this is the wrong train." She told them seriously.

"I'm sorry Evans," Black mocked. "But could it be that you hit your head a bit too hard?"

"No, I'm perfectly fine. Thanks for your concern Black." She retorted. Ugh, she didn't have time for this! "Just look around! Look into the compartments and tell me if you see one familiar face!" She motioned furiously towards said compartments. When they remained still, she added, "Go on, I mean it!"

She knew she must have appeared hysterical and mad. But it was their fault. Being stuck with these people, could make even the sanest people go crazy.

The boys finally did what she ordered them to do. They returned to her with equally confused expressions on their faces. Her arms were crossed as she asked, "See?"

"What do we do now?", Potter asked.

"I don't know...", Black said, "But this must be the Hogwarts Express. Just look at the few people already wearing their uniforms! It's definitely going to Hogwarts!"

"Yeah, I think we should wait'til the train arrives wherever it's headed," Potter added, "I mean we can't really do anything now."

For once Lily agreed with Potter. No matter where the train went, it had to go somewhere. And the passengers appeared to be Hogwarts age.

"I think we should find an empty compartment," Remus proposed reasonably. "If we aren't supposed to be here, it's best not to draw attention to ourselves."

"Good luck with that," Black said. "If this is anything like the Hogwarts Express, everything's already full."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that." Lily spoke up for the first time in a while. "The very last compartment is always empty. Most people don't usually bother to go that far."

Lily started walking in the direction of said compartment, without waiting for a response. She could hear them following her, though.

It took them a while to arrive there, since the train was pretty big - exactly as enormous as the Hogwarts Express.

When they arrived, however, the compartment wasn't empty. There was already a boy sitting in there.

"So much for it always being empty." Black grumbled.

"It looks like he's sleeping." Remus observed. "Maybe he won't wake up. I think we should go in. All the others are full."

"Yeah, and he doesn't look like the type to make a fuss." James added. Indeed, the boy was alone and couldn't be older than a first or second year.

They tried to get in and sit down as quietly as possible. Lily sat down next to the boy, who was leaning against the window. Remus was seated next to her, while the other boys occupied the seats opposite them.

Lily took the time to observe the boy next to her more closely. He already had his Hogwarts (?!) robes on, which appeared to be several sizes too big for him. They did a good job hiding his skinny body, but even they couldn't do wonders. His gaunt face matched this thinness. His pale and sweaty skin also contributed to an overall unhealthy appearance.

"Is he alive?" Black asked. Lily rolled his eyes. Yes, the boy looked to be in pretty bad shape, but judging by the slow, rhythmical movement of his chest, he was definitely alive.

"Of course he is, he might be a little sick though..." She answered.

"What do you think happened to him?" Potter asked.

"I don't know, but don't you dare asking him that!" Lily said as quietly as she could. "It's none of our business."

"Well, we need to help a fellow Gryffindor in need!" Black said furiously, jumping up from his seat. He had also obviously recognised the Hogwarts uniform the boy was wearing.

"And if he wasn't a Gryffindor?" Lily asked dangerously, joining Black in his standing position.

"Then I'd help him too. As long as he isn't a Slytherin, he deserves help!" He said loudly in an angry voice.

"Slytherins deserve help too! They are worth just as much as we are!" Lily yelled, forgetting all about not being too loud.

"Lily-"

"No, Remus! You all need to understand that once and for all!"

"No, Lily, it's not about that..."

"No, I'm sick of your arrogant shit, thinking you're superior, just because..." She stopped abruptly, when she heard a gasp from behind her.

She turned around, only to find her own emerald green eyes staring up at her.-


	3. Parents

-Harry couldn't believe his eyes.

He was looking at a familiar girl with fiery red hair and the same eyes he had. Her face structure also appeared to be similar to his. If he gained weight and took off his glasses, their faces would look almost identical.

The red hair, the green eyes... This couldn't be his mother, could it? No, that was impossible. His eyes travelled further down to the rest of the people inside the compartment.

His blood froze, when he realised, that he had seen all these people already. In the picture book Hagrid had given him. Remus, Sirius, Pettigrew and... his dad.

Now that he saw him, he realised that the only thing that they had in common about their appearance was the colour of their hair and their glasses. Though, even those were different. While James Potter's glasses looked to be expensive, Harry's were cheap and worn. His 'dad''s hairstyle was also different. Over the summer, Harry's hair had grown a lot and was now a lot less messy and resembled more his mother's wavy hair than his dad's messy one. Maybe, this change had something to do with Harry's fear of the Dursley's having yet another reason to punish him. For once they hadn't complained that much about his hairstyle.

Why did people always tell him that he looked like his dad? Honestly, the girl staring at him looked more like him than the boy across from him. That is, if these were really his parents.

"Who are you?" Harry asked them, trying to seem nonchalant, already fingering his wand in his robe pocket. If this was a set up, it was a good one.

Though, after last year, he knew that everything was possible, even time travel.

The boy's question brought Lily back to reality. She had also realised that this boy strangely resembled her and was too caught up in her musings to speak until now.

"Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Lily Evans." She saw a flash of recognition and pain (...?) in the boy's eyes, but it disappeared as fast as it had come. "I'm sorry we woke you up. We can leave if you want to."

The boy forced a smile and said, "Nothing to worry about."

"My name is Remus Lupin," Again the same moment of recognition, but without the pain. "Could you tell us which train this is?" Remus asked kindly. "I think we got on the wrong train."

"Yeah, sure..." The boy answered uncertainly. "This is the Hogwarts Express, taking the students of Hogwarts to their school."

This shocked them more than anything else that had happened that afternoon.

"Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry in Scotland?" Black inquired incredulously.

The boy nodded.

"Are there more Hogwarts in Scotland?" Potter now turned to Remus, their walking library.

Before Remus could do so much as shake her head, Lily butted in, "Oh, don't be ridiculous Potter. There's only one Hogwarts."

"Then... How...?"

"There's only one possible explanation." Lily took a deep breath and turned to the small boy with her face. "Which year is it?"

"You can't mean..." Remus trailed off, understanding her train of thought. She gave the boy a kind, inquiring smile. He seemed to be uncomfortable with everyone looking at him, but answered nonetheless.

"Err...It's 1994."

To say that they were shocked, would be an understatement.

"Is this a joke?" Black asked almost angrily. "A prank? Because if it is, it's pretty damn good!"

The boy just shook his head in confusion.

"Time travel is possible," Remus said pensively. "But I don't remember using a time turner." Then he turned to Lily. "And I can't imagine you used a time turner at the same time we did in order to come to the same time we did. That would be too much of a coincidence..."

"What does it matter how this happened? What matters is thinking about how we can solve this problem. What if we can't get back in time to the first Quidditch match?" Potter shuddered.

"Yeah, I'd hate to lose to those sneaky Slytherins." Black agreed.

"Is that all you think about?" Lily asked, completely baffled by their immaturity and thoughtlessness. "What about meeting our future selves or our friends and family we left behind." She shook her head in exasperation.

"I think we should all calm down and wait until we arrive at Hogwarts. Then we could talk to the headmaster. Is Professor Dumbledore still the headmaster?"

Lily sat back down and turned her attention to the mysterious boy next to her. He didn't seem to be as insufferable as the others.

"Yeah he is," He said in a small voice, "And you're probably right. If anyone can solve this mess, it's him."

The others finally seemed to have calmed down and sat down as well. Albus Dumbledore would help them.

"These are Sirius Black, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew." She motioned to each of them, again seeing recognition in the boy's eyes. "We're all fourth years. What is your name?"

"Er, well, I don't know how to tell you, but..." It was obvious that he didn't know how to say what he wanted to say, so she decided to help it along a bit.

"Could it be that we are related?" She asked and the boy nodded. It wasn't so hard to guess. Their faces did look quite alike after all. The other occupants of the room were now leaning in, listening intently (for once) to their conversation.

"Yes, well, you're my mother." She wasn't shocked at the revelation, only at the way he said it. He sounded apologetic, and as tough he was afraid of her rejecting him. This boy, her son really had to work on his self-confidence. He must have gotten his low self-esteem from his dad.

"Who's your father?" She asked curiously. Who would his future boyfriend be?

"..." The boy didn't answer. He just looked pointedly at Potter. Lily groaned. Well, he didn't get his

lack of self-confidence from Potter. It took Potter a while to realise what the look meant, but when he did, the reaction was immediate.

"Yes!" He jumped out of his seat, fist pumping Black.

"Are you completely sure?" Lily asked hopefully.

"Yeah, sorry."

"What are you apologising for? It's not your fault," It must have been a love potion. "So, what's your name?"

"Harry James Potter."

"Which year are you in?" Potter questioned Harry eagerly.

"Fourth, just like you." Wow, Harry was small! And he looked so young! They were the same age, but she felt a need to protect him. She didn't feel like a mother, but it was easy to see him as a little brother she wanted to protect.

"Are you really?" Black asked. Lily rolled her eyes. Harry nodded. "You're so small!"

Harry just shrugged.

"Am I a good dad?" Potter asked. Lily hadn't thought it was possible, but Harry paled considerably at this question. "Don't tell me... Do I ground you a lot? Am I one of those parents?" Potter appeared to be horrified by that last question.

Harry shook his head. "No, that's not it." He paused and took a deep breath as if it took him a great deal to say his following sentence. "You're just... not here."

Lily almost cried out in triumph. 'I knew it!' She thought, 'It was a love potion or a one time thing!' That would explain why Harry was so much more like her than that arrogant bully.

"Don't tell me... we're divorced!" Potter said that like it was the most horrible thing that could happen.

"No!" Harry was quick to assure him. "Your love was great...I think," Harry said awkwardly. Potter just smirked. It was however wiped off his face with Harry's next sentence. "But you're dead. You died protecting me when I was a baby." Harry stood up and walked towards the door of their compartment. "I'll leave you alone to think about it. I need to get ready for school anyway. I'm sorry." And he left before they could do anything about it. They just sat there in stunned silent, only belatedly realising that Harry already had his uniform on. But they were to preoccupied with their deaths to give that much thought.


	4. Lies

**A/N: I'm no doctor and Harry isn't one either. So, please forgive me if the lie Harry had come up with isn't plausible.**

They were all still lost in their thoughts and discussions about their deaths in a couple of years, when someone entered the compartment.

"Hey, this compartment is full already," Black said. "Please find another one..." When they got a close look at the person's face, however, they all realised who this was supposed to be. "What happened to you!?"

Harry took his place next to his mom and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Well, I've been sick over the summer and lost a bit of weight due to that," Harry lied. "A bit," Sirius coughed, but Harry expertly ignored him. "I'm better now, taking nutrition potions and all, but I don't want to worry my friends unnecessarily with my appearance." He was becoming better and better at lying.

Especially with his experiences over the summer. For some reason (probably just to torment him), his uncle had wanted him to stay at Privet Drive the whole summer. That's why Harry had regularly written letters in which he appeared to become more and more fond of the Dursleys. In the end, since they had finally "learned to get along", they had wanted to spend their whole summer together in order to have some much needed "family time" together. It had been quite easy to make them believe that they were on good terms, since Harry had never really talked about them all that much. And now, what he told them were made up stories about a family he wished he had.

"And what, pray tell, is the disease you had." Lily asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Well, I have type 1 diabetes," The only one who seemed to know what it was, was Lily, the others' faces were only screwed up in confusion, "It's a muggle disease and it's nothing serious. I also discovered that there is a potion to cure it. I'm gonna brew it as soon as I arrive at Hogwarts."

And if they asked where he found out about that potion, he would say that he had bought a book called "Magical Cures for Muggle Maladies". Which he actually had,

a few years ago, when he had had to first come up with an explanation for his starved body in case his glamours were discovered. Luckily no one had discovered them until now. Last summer had been a close call, but his glamours had been somehow accidentally recast after having blown up his Aunt.

"Could you maybe not tell my friends?" He asked uncertainly, "Like I said, it would only worry them unnecessarily. I would tell them if something was really wrong."

The people in the compartment nodded hesitantly. He seemed to have convinced them completely that he was diabetic. There was still a chance that they did tell his friends, but then he could stick with the same story and convince them that this was what he had been hiding all along.

"Who do you live with, now that, you know...?" James said. And oh, Harry knew all too well.

"With me, right?" Sirius asked confidently.

"No sorry, I live with your sister," he turned to Lily. "And her husband and their son."

"With Tuney?!" Lily asked incredulously. "But she hates magic!"

"Yeah, and at the beginning she wasn't too fond of me either,"He said, "But this summer they have gotten better and we get along pretty well. We even went to the cinema on my birthday." Better stick with one story. He smiled in order to emphasize his point.

"Oh, ok...I'm glad she has gotten better." Lily smiled and seemed to be genuinely happy for him. Harry smiled back, this time his was genuine too.

"And where are my genes!" James complained half playfully, half seriously. Those two looked so alike, especially now that Harry looked more like a normal person than a skeleton. They even behaved similarly and now even their smiles were identical! James was, admittedly, a bit jealous that they had bonded so fast.

"Don't worry Prongs," Sirius said in mock seriousness. "He has inherited your bad eyesight."

"And, are you well-prepared for school? Done all your homework?" Remus asked. Harry almost laughed at how professor-like he sounded, even at such a young age.

"Yes, all done." It was the truth. His uncle had only controlled all the packages he received. He didn't care about any letters he got or wrote, he just wanted to prevent his nephew from escaping his punishments by eating illegally received food. Which is how Harry could order his school books and have them deposited somewhere in the garden. He had realized that the delivery address for owl-ordered supplies could be determined similarly to how the address of his first Hogwarts letters were. 'Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Garden, next to the Oak tree, under the bushes'.

The letters he wrote weren't controlled, because Uncle Vernon knew he had Harry well under his thumb. Harry had proven such several times already when suspicions had arisen at his muggle school, and no one in the wizarding world even had a clue. "I completed all my assignments to the best of my abilities." It was the truth, but also a lie. He had done all his assignments as well as he could, he just also wrote another, worse version as usual. Harry had kept all his good assignments hidden since, well, since being punished for being better than Dudley.

But Harry couldn't just stop trying altogether. Which was why he had a hidden folder with all his good muggle assignments under the loose floorboard at the Dursleys.

He continued doing so even in the magical world. It was hard not to do something, which was punished so severely that it was still ingrained in his skin. Besides, Hermione's competitiveness and Ron's unfounded jealousy didn't help either.

"What are your favourite subjects?" Lily asked eagerly.

"Well, I'm not exactly good at any of my subjects, but I like Defence and Charms."

"Yes, I can see that!" Lily nodded enthusiastically. "Your glamour charm is quite impressive. If I didn't know, I would never have guessed you wore one! I couldn't have done it so well; how did you do it?"

While Harry and Lily spoke charmish, James began to feel more and more jealous. Why do they have to be so similar? James glared at them, crossing his arms. The two didn't even realise, so caught up were they in their conversation.

"Why don't you like potions?"

"It's not that I don't like potions, it's just that the teacher hates me, which makes it a bit hard to focus."

"I'm sure he doesn't hate you..."

"No, trust me. He does." Then, finally Harry decided to include James in the conversation too. "What are your favourite subjects?"

"Transfiguration and Quidditch." James replied, practically glowing with pride.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Quidditch is no subject."

"Well, it should be!"

Harry didn't say anything. He was happy just listening to his parents argue, he hadn't thought he would ever be able to do that. Come to think of it, their bickering kind of reminded him of Ron and Hermione...

"What do you think about Quidditch, Harry?"

"I think it's amazing. It's just about the only thing I can do well," Harry said casually. Lily frowned. Why was Harry always talking himself down? Even though he had said he wasn't good at any of his subjects, he was able to talk about topics well over the ordinary fourth year level with Lily in both charms and potions! What made him not believe in himself? She had no idea, but she was determined to find out.

While she had been lost in her thoughts, the boys (Harry and James along with Sirius) had carried on their conversation about Quidditch.

"We should play sometime." James proposed.

"Yeah, that'd be great!" Harry readily agreed.

"Father against son. The game of-" Sirius' dramatic exclamation was caught off by the compartment door bursting open.

"There you are!"

"We've looked everywhere for you... Who are...?"

Harry's best friends were there, looking around the compartment in stunned silence.


	5. Company

"Are these...?" Hermione asked, gesturing at all the people assembled there. Harry nodded. "Are you sure it's not...?" Harry nodded frivolously before she could finish her sentence. For once, Hermione looked too shocked to hug him in greeting, which Harry was grateful for.

"Wicked!" Ron said. He and Hermione both sat down. Hermione next to Remus, Ron next to Pettigrew. He couldn't stop himself from looking at the rat in disgust. "You look exactly like your mom!"

"I wouldn't say 'exactly', but yes you two do look very alike," Hermione said with that thoughtful glint in her eyes, that was always there when she tried to solve a difficult problem. "It's especially surprising since everyone has always been saying that Harry looks exactly like his dad with his mom's eyes... I wonder why... Perhaps it's because people only look at the glasses and the hair. Did you change your hairstyle?" She said all that very fast in what Harry would call a Hermione-like manner.

"Do you always speak this fast...?" Sirius asked, shocked. Ron burst out laughing.

"Yeah, mate, she does." He answered. Hermione glared at both boys.

Ron and Hermione both introduced themselves.

"Where were you, mate?" Ron turned to Harry. He seemed to be surprisingly more concerned than angry. "We were looking everywhere for you. Why did you have to get into the very last compartment?! It's supposedly haunted!"

So, that was why no one ever used it, huh?

"Er...Well, it was the only one far enough to ensure no one would see us," He motioned towards the others. "I'm sorry I didn't go find you, but it all went too fast and all I could think about was hiding them." After a moment's hesitation, the others nodded.

"Yeah, it would have been bloody ridiculous if anyone had recognised us." James, a practiced prankster, knew how to lie to get out of trouble or in this case... fussing.

"I'm really sorry. I was about to go looking for you anyway, but with all the excitement... distracted me a little." Harry said sheepishly.

Lily raised an eyebrow. Harry, unlike her, was surprisingly good at lying. Perhaps, this was where the Potter genes had kicked in.

"No problem, Harry," Hermione assured him. "We were just a bit worried about you. After what happened at the World Cup..." She shuddered. They had already written Harry about everything that had happened. The death eaters, the dark mark and Ron's wand being stolen. It had all been a very horrifying experience.

"Have you told them everything about the future, mate?" Ron asked, changing the subject.

"Not really," Harry shook his head. "I only told them about their deaths and the Dursleys."

"Then there's a lot more to tell." Ron declared solemnly. He had already opened his mouth to continue, when he was interrupted by Hermione.

"Wait, we should first think about the consequences of telling them," She reasoned. "We could change their whole future by telling them, for better or for worse."

"I say it's for the better!" Ron exclaimed.

Before a whole pointless argument could break out, Harry said, "You're right, of course, Hermione," Ron glared at him while Hermione smiled contentedly. "But I still think we can tell them what we want. I mean I've already told them too much as it is and there's no way they won't find out about the rest at some point... It's better if they hear the whole truth from us, than lies from somewhere else." He said pointedly, thinking about Sirius.

Hermione nodded slowly, obviously still thinking about it. "You're right." She relented. "Acclaiming a time turner that could send them back, could take a while... Even with Dumbledore."

"So, tell me, what happened to me?" Sirius asked with a confident grin. "Am I still as devastatingly handsome as I am now? Do I work as an auror? A quidditch player? A model?" Ron, Hermione and Harry exchanged a look. "No, don't tell me I have a job where I sit around all day?" He asked in horror.

"Er... You don't really have a job." Harry said tentatively.

"Unless you could call escaped convict a job." Ron joked tactlessly as usual. Hermione hit him. Ron rubbed his ribs. "Au... What did you do that for?" he whispered.

"What do you mean escaped convict?" Sirius asked.

"You spent 12 years of your life in Azkaban for a crime you haven't committed." Harry said and they continued to explain everything else they knew about their futures, which admittedly, wasn't a lot.

Sirius was shocked at first, until this turned into anger at the rat sitting nearby. It didn't help that James, who was sitting between them, was out to get Pettigrew too, and Ron, who was on the other side of him, would have gladly let them do it. Luckily, Harry, who didn't want to lose his father and godfather to Azkaban, and Hermione, who thought about the effects, Peter's death would have on the future, managed to calm the two murderous-looking teens down (a bit) or at least convinced them them not to kill Pettigrew right then and there. In the end, they didn't harm the now shaking boy, who had switched places with Hermione, only because they were afraid of being sent to Azkaban without ever being able to return to their own time. They would find another non-traceable way to take revenge.

"So, is Voldemort still alive?" Lily asked. Several people flinched at the use of Riddle's name. Harry was pleased to see that his dad wasn't one of them.

"Yes, but he still hasn't risen to full power again." Hermione answered. The people around her looked quite confused at that statement.

"Again?" Sirius asked.

Ron and Hermione turned to Harry. "You haven't told them?" Ron asked incredulously. If he was the one famous for defeating one of the most powerful wizards of all time, he would have talked about it right away!

Then again, Harry was different. He had never really seemed to care much for his fame...

"What haven't you told us?" Remus asked.

"Wait, let me guess," Sirius joked. "You defeated Voldemort as a one year old after he killed your parents, as an act of revenge. But now he's come back to kill you." When Sirius saw the trio's open mouths, he paled. "You mean to tell me... this really happened...?"

"Yeah, kinda..." Harry said awkwardly. Lily patted him on the shoulder. Harry hoped he managed to hide the flinch that this movement invoked. Luckily she didn't seem to have realised it. "I'm sorry Harry." She said, genuine sympathy glinting in her eyes. Harry found himself surprisingly leaning into her touch.

He smiled at her and muttered his thanks, before continuing, "But I didn't do anything much. I'm not powerful... or anything," There it was, again. His self-deprecating comments. This wasn't simple modesty... Lily was beginning to worry.

Ron and Hermione were used to it by now and merely rolled their eyes at their best friend's antics.

"It was my mom who saved me by sacrificing herself. Her sacrifice was what protected me."

Suddenly, bitterness seemed to overtake him. "Which is why I can't understand all the worshipping of the 'boy-who-lived', I'm famous for my parents' deaths and their accomplishments. I wish so much I could just be normal like everyone else... just Harry." The last sentence was said so quietly that only Lily could hear it. She felt sorry for Harry, since he truly seemed to suffer under his fame.

But was it normal to wish to be normal? Most people wanted to be special, to stick out, to be looked up to by their peers... Why didn't Harry want that?

She had many questions about her son, who was so much like her in most areas, but also worryingly different in others. What he inherited from Potter she had no clue. It was his love for Quidditch and ability to lie, she supposed.

After many more stories about the future and the past - about some of their adventures at school in their separate times - they finally arrived at Hogwarts, which seemed to have stayed the same it had been 20 years ago.

A beautiful thing, magic.

**A/N: Thanks to the people who reviewed, it motivates me to continue**.


	6. Organisation

"Ah, I see." Dumbledore said after having listened to their telling of what had happened on the train without interruption. His eyes, however, hadn't lost their twinkle. What's more, they strangely twinkled a lot more than they normally did. "From now on, you do not need to worry about what you tell them about their future," He surprised them all by saying that next. "You will need to be obliviated, before returning to your time either way. We cannot risk changing our world. Regardless of whether you believe it to be right or wrong, the future shall remain untouched." His voice was kind but held a firm tone of finality in it that no one, not even the marauders, dared to rebel against. (Well, Sirius opened his mouth to say something indignant, but was kicked by Remus before he could do anything.)

"As to Classes," Dumbledore said, twinkling in full force once again, "I cannot force you to study, when you are to forget everything you learn anyway," Prongs and Padfoot fist-pumped in triumph. "However, I do not have the right to strip you from receiving education either. I leave this matter up to you to decide, my dear time travellers. I ask you to tell Professor McGonagall how you decide. She will then take you to your respective dorms where you will receive dinner."

"Who in their right mind would voluntarily chose to take classes?" James asked under his breath, shaking his head. Sirius nodded, while Lily rolled her eyes. At this rate, she would become a master at rolling her eyes. She shot them a nasty glare. They gulped.

"Be warned that the school rules will still apply to you regardless of whether you are actually taking classes or not," Dumbledore continued, without any indication of having heard the comment, "And, rest assured, they are mostly the same they were 20 years ago."

'The school rules or the classes?' Sirius whispered, so that only James could hear. They exchanged mischievous smiles.

"But professor," Hermione interrupted, "Isn't it too risky to let them join us? What if someone recognised them and harmed them?"

"You are quite right, Miss Granger. That would be a viable risk, weren't there some special... circumstances this year," He had the obvious air of someone purposely withholding information, "Let's say that there will be enough exchange students so that you wouldn't stick out at all," He chuckled a bit at his vague statement. The students exchanged bewildered looks. Dumbledore now turned to speak to Hermione, "With your brilliant mind, you cannot possibly understand the limits to ordinary people's imagination," Hermione blushed at the compliment. "They will not believe in the impossible, however likely it might seem. Nor are there many people here who will remember them, while the ones who do, I trust fully to keep it a secret." Now the headmaster turned to look at Harry and Lily, who were standing side by side, sporting uncannily similar expressions of pensive understanding on their almost identical faces. "You two, however, might have to think about something to explain the resemblance. Even the blind could see it," He looked at them with that piercing gaze of his, causing them to shift simultaneously. "Curious how our memories betray us, not seeing the obvious."

This might change so much. It was about time for an eyeopener to come. 'Severus, my friend, you are in for a wild ride.'

They were interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Come in, Minerva," Dumbledore said amiably. A flustered looking McGonagall entered the office, breathing heavily. "Did you receive my letter?"

She took a few deep breaths, then spoke, "Yes, I came as soon as the sorting ended and told them to start eating. What kind of emergency are we..." She trailed off, when she finally realised that the two of them weren't the only occupants of the room. Her eyes travelled from the Marauders to Lily and from Lily to Harry and back again. She paled rapidly.

"Albus, are these...?" She asked, her voice shaking.

"...Time travellers from 1974. We do not know how it happened, but..." He filled her in on the rest of the story. Then he told them to wait outside for a moment and spoke to her about the part they weren't meant to hear.

McGonagall exited the office about five minutes later.

"So, how have you decided?" She asked without preamble, in an all-about-business voice. "Classes or no classes?" She appeared to have gathered herself after her initial shock.

"Come on, Minnie," James whined in a mock hurt tone of voice. "I thought you knew us better than that!"

Instead of the usual swift stern reprimand comments like these invoked, McGonagall just looked at him with a wistful smile.

After a moment of silence, she cleared her throat. Her voice was kind of raspy when she spoke next, "You four are not taking classes then?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. They nodded with differing grades of enthusiasm.

Sirius and James were all for no school and free-pranking-time, whilst Remus would have liked to take classes. It could have been interesting to see the differences between the education of the past and the future. But he was afraid of doing it without his friends, of not being accepted. Peter was scared of the rest of his group at the moment, but going to classes, being bullied by students and teachers alike and studying for subjects he didn't understand seemed even worse.

"What about you, Miss Evans?" She asked, her voice wavering again as she turned to her.

"I have decided to take classes." She said without hesitation or doubts about her decision.

"Very well," McGonagall said. She put up a silencing charm around them. "Since you most likely won't make it to dinner in the Great Hall today, the headmaster asked me to inform you of this year's special event."

She told them all about the Triwizard Tournament that was to take place at Hogwarts this year: The history of the 700 year old tournament, the three competing schools (Hogwarts, Beauxbatons, and Durmstrang), the goal of internationality and the dangers that came with the tournament, those she stressed multiple times. She clearly seemed to be against reinstating the tournament and spoke in a belittling manner about the thousand Galleons personal prize money and the eternal glory the winner was to receive. Furthermore, she informed them more thoroughly about the different ways people had died during the tournament.

"Only official students of our school can compete," She added, when James, Sirius and Ron still looked eager to join. James and Sirius deflated instantly. "Also, the heads of the participating schools, along with the Ministry of Magic, have agreed to impose an age restriction on contenders this year." When there still remained a flicker of hope in Ron's eyes she told him about how well they could control whether this rule is followed or not.

She added some details and hoped she could convince everyone of not joining this life-threatening massacre. After all of their relevant questions concerning the tournament were answered, she went on to speak about another matter, "Now, to your living arrangements. The four of you," she gave each of them a stern look, checking if they were listening. They were, good for them. "You will reside in a spare room next to my office. You cannot be seen by anyone for the time being. Since you have decided not to attend classes, we have no excuse for your stay here at the moment." She paused for a moment, making sure they understood. "Rest assured, it is only temporary. Starting from October, you will be disguised as Beauxbatons students and free to roam the castle as you please as long as you remember to stick to your disguise."

"Sure thing, Minnie. My french accent eeez splendid!" Sirius exclaimed proudly, already attempting a french accent and failing spectacularly. He remained unfazed though.

"You will receive your uniforms shortly. I trust you understand the danger you put not only yourselves but also others into, should you go against the proposed rules. You put the future of our whole world at risk by endangering yourselves. Do you understand?" She asked seriously.

They all just nodded wordlessly.

"Very well," She said, then she turned to the remaining time traveler. "As to you, Miss Evans. You will be our exchange student for the year. You are a student of Ivermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It shouldn't be too hard to imagine, regarding your family history."

Lily nodded.

Harry raised an eyebrow and Lily mouthed a quick 'later'.

"You are Mr. Potter's Muggleborn cousin, he didn't know he had. That way we can explain the resemblance and your motive for coming here. I trust that as the intelligent students you both are, you are able to make up the rest of the story yourselves." They both looked equally flustered by the compliment, but nodded nonetheless.

Harry secretly wondered how McGonagall could have possibly come to that conclusion. She gave them a rare smile and said in a shaky voice, "You really do resemble each other. Not just in looks, but also in your mannerisms and traits."She looked at both James and Lily, two of her favourite students in wistful remembrance. "You live on in your son, you both do." For a moment, something seemed to be glistening in her eyes, but she quickly wiped it away.

"Anyway," She cleared her throat, "a bed has been arranged in the fourth year Gryffindor girls' room for you. The house elves will bring you something to eat there." Something possibly dangerous flashed in Hermione's eyes at the mention of house elves.

McGonagall now turned back to the Marauders. "The spare rooms will be enlarged and extended with several rooms with hopefully enough entertainment so that you won't be bored enough to cause any trouble. There is also a dining room where your meals will be served at the same time it is in the Great Hall. I will take you to your room shortly." She glanced at the trio of best friends. "Miss Evans will go with you three."

She then turned to the whole group.

"Are there any questions?" They shook their heads. "Good," She said, her voice softening, "It's good to see you again. Good luck."

"Follow me," She said, cancelled the silencing charm and headed off towards said room, the Marauders following in her wake after exchanging swift goodbyes.


	7. Katie

That night, they went to their dorms right after ordering something small for dinner from the house-elf that came to serve them.

This order took a lot longer than it should have, since Hermione refused to accept anything from the house-elf and rather started interrogating it about its working and living conditions.

She only managed to do so until Ron's hunger won out and he finally ordered the elf to ignore Hermione and get the food! The elf looked on the verge of the mental breakdown at not knowing how to obey both orders; but luckily Hermione finally gave in and let the poor creature go. But she was still determined to do something against elf mistreatment.

Harry was glad that they ate in their beds, since he knew he wouldn't be able to get anything down tonight. He still hoped he would manage to eat at least the small and light sandwich he had ordered.

Harry was sitting in front of the plate on his four-poster bed, curtains drawn, glaring intensely at the disgusting-looking meal. He felt something akin to anger well up inside of him. Anger at himself.

This was just a sandwich! Every other person at his school would have no difficulties eating it! Every single one! So why was he so pathetic?! So weak?! He clenched his fists tightly in order to prevent the tears of frustration that threatened to fall. He hadn't cried in years and he wasnt about to do so. He was afraid that if he started, he wouldnt be able to stop. And it would make him even more pathetic.

Slowly his anger faded away and turned into resignation and he was feeling the full force of his exhaustion.

Harry was so tired of it all. Of having to deal with all the pain and fear even after the end of the summer.

He still ached all over his body. Even though he had taken the cure for the infection in the bathroom where he had put his glamours on, he still hurt. He had brewed the potion at the end of last year, knowing that there would be hell to pay after what he had done to Aunt Marge.

Furthermore, Harry knew he could have brewed something to ease the pain too, help with the malnutrition or even heal some of his wounds. But he only ever used potions when they were absolutely necessary in order to prevent being discovered.

Harry didn't even know why, even though he had the means to save himself, to make it easier, he didn't do it.

It came naturally, he supposed. It was beaten into him, that he didnt deserve those potions, that he had the punishments coming and that he deserved being hurt unlike others.

You might think that after being introduced to the magical world and getting to know that his relatives' hatred for him stemmed from their resentment and fear of magic, that would change. But it didn't.

If you are being told that you're an unlovable, worthless and good for nothing freak your whole life, you won't be convinced of the contrary overnight. Besides, the Dursleys had hated Harry his whole life, even before his magical abilities showed up. There must have been a reason for that. And it wasn't just, because Harry had been dumped on their doorstep; it had to had at least something to do with Harry as a person.

Harry knew that people in the magical world didnt see him for what he truly was. That was the only reason why he wasnt treated the same as at the Dursleys'. This whole magical world was a fantasy world in which Harry could pretend he was someone else.

Back to the sandwich.

Harry was so tired of having to force himself to do something he didn't want to do. Why should he eat the sandwich? Was he helping anyone by eating it? Would he hurt anyone by not eating it? As far as Harry knew, it wouldn't.

He was repulsed by the mere thought of the food in his mouth. After a summer of starvation, Harry didn't feel hunger anymore. He felt weak and tired, but not hungry.

Harry pushed the plate away from himself in a kind of rebellion. He vanished the food with a flick of his wand and turned his determined glare on the plate.

No, Harry wouldn't force himself to do yet another thing he didn't want to. This, he could decide for himself. No one else could force him to eat, not even his uncle.

Harry smiled to himself. If he thought about it like that, he didn't feel as weak anymore. He had the power. He could eat if he wanted to, he just chose not to. That made all the difference in the world.

He went to sleep feeling less weak than he had been feeling the whole summer.

They were sitting at the Gryffindor table in the great hall. People were crowding around Lily, asking her all about where she had come from and what she was doing here. Exchange students at Hogwarts weren't a usual occurrence after all. And Hogwarts students seemed to like gossip more than anyone else.

Lily was great at speaking English with a Californian accent, which made it quite easy to believe that she had come from there. She had told Harry yesterday about her dad, who had been born in LA and had lived most of his life there until he fell in love with her mom and decided to move to the UK in order to live with her. Even if she was to be a different person, she could just tell the truth about her family, with the only difference being that it was her mom who moved to the US.

Lily, admittedly, wasn't too good at lying, but it was working, all thanks to Harry. She grinned in remembrance.

Yesterday, they had agreed to meet up a few hours before breakfast to make up a plausible story. It had been easy to pretend to be tired and go to bed early yesterday in order to prevent being questioned by her roommates. But she had known that that wouldnt last until the next day. It was Harry who proposed to meet up in the library before breakfast.

Lily had learned two things about Harry during that session.

First: Harry was a genius, and second: He had no idea how great he was.

Together they had worked on the story of Katie Jackson's life until now in LA and her time at school. Lily had already been to LA multiple times to visit her grandparents. Which is why that part wasn't too hard to imagine. She was more concerned about how to pretend to be going to a school she had never even seen pictures of.

But Harry surprised her by knowing everything there was to know about Ivermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He even showed her the exact pages and lines of a library book called "Schools of Witchcraft and Wizardry Around the World", where the information he had told her about could be found. How he could still remember where exactly the information could be found if he had presumably read it before the summer holidays, she had no clue. But it was very helpful. There were even tons of magically moving pictures in the book.

In the end, after a few shared laughs and written notes about her supposed life - charmed to look like homework to others-, Lily felt a lot less nervous about being discovered as a liar. She also didn't feel as lonely and scared of the current situation- in which she had to live in a world where the most precious people of her life were missing. Harry managed to make her feel at ease and comfortable in this both strange and familiar world by just being…Harry.

After having finished writing the notes, Harry started continuously scribbling something else. In the meantime, Lily was studying her notes.

Her memory was pretty good, so she wasn't afraid of not remembering something. But she still feared she wouldnt sound convincing, but more like she had swallowed a book. When she had finished, Harry handed her the parchment he had been writing on.

Lily couldn't help but laugh out as she read what was written on it. Luckily, not even Madam Pince was to be seen in the library at such an early hour.

She raised an eyebrow at Harry who looked completely serious.

"What? You told me you like tests." He said innocently. The parchment was filled to the brim with questions other students would most likely ask her. How had Harry come up with so many sensible questions in such a short amount of time?

She started filling out the questions. Some were tricky, but in the end, she thought that she managed to answer them all correctly. She handed it back to Harry, eager to see whether she had them all right or not. She bit her lip in anticipation. But to her surprise, Harry only seemed to read quickly through her answers without correcting them.

"All right," he finally said, "Are there houses at Ivermorny?"

He proceeded to ask her all those questions again and gave her advice on how to portray her answers in a convincing manner. Instead of saying them off by heart, she learned to truly imagine what it would be like to be Katie Jackson.

"Thank you." She thanked him, honestly grateful for his help. "I don't know what I would have done without you. I probably would have had a mental breakdown by now." He chuckled, then waved away the apology.

"Anytime," He said, "It was fun spending time with you." He smiled in remembrance.

And now, in the Great Hall, where she was being questioned about a fictional persons life, she didn't feel nervous at all. Because she knew Harry was next to her and ready to help her whenever necessary, but still knowing that it wasn't. She was well-prepared.

All thanks to Harry Potter, the boy-who-helped-her-without-expecting-anything-in-return.


	8. Brush

"So, how come you only got to know about each other now?" Lavender Brown asked.

Luckily, McGonagall had told the crowd that had gathered around Lily to take their seats and eat their breakfasts. "I promise, you will have plenty of time to interrogate our exchange student later on, seeing as she will be attending classes with you," She had added in order to placate them.

Everyone wanted to know about the first exchange student they had ever seen and the fact that this student was a pretty girl, didn't exactly help matters.

Lily felt slightly uncomfortable under all the attention, while Harry felt guilty for being glad that for once it wasn't him, who was being stared at.

But even though the majority off the curious students had to sit down far away from Lily after the scolding from Professor McGonagall, there were still a few who were scattered in seats around her.

Lavender Brown was sitting next to her on her left side, while Harry had taken the seat on her other side. Parvati was sitting across from her, leaning in to listen to the conversation.

Lily gave Harry a worried look; they hadnt had time to discuss how they knew about each other!

But luckily, Harry seemed to have thought of a solution for everything. Or just had a crazy wild imagination.

"Well, our families are kind of estranged," He said, pretending, that this was a topic he didn't like to talk about. His acting skills were spot on. "After my mom's death, the two remaining sisters- my Aunt Petunia and Mrs. Jackson- had a fight." The two curious girls nodded eagerly urging him to continue. "My Aunt accused Mrs. Jackson of not being there for my mom by living in the States and as such being the cause of her death. Mrs. Jackson on the other hand, blamed my Aunt for not doing anything for my mom despite the short distance between their homes." Harry paused dramatically, as though the mere memory of it would cause him pain. "Katie had known about me but was forbidden from contacting me by my Aunt. My Aunt hadn't told me about my other Aunt until this summer, when we finally were on better terms. She used to resent me for my magic, but over the summer we got over our differences and have finally established a normal family dynamic." Lily stared at Harry in half shock, half amusement, mouth agape. There was just the right amount of truth in his lie. Did he make this perfectly logical story up just now and manage to portray it believably? He didn't seize to surprise her. You were born to be an actor, Harry. "So that's why I managed to convince her to make up with her sister and let me get to know Katie. They aren't on best terms yet, but they're getting there." Parvati and Lavender nodded sympathetically.

They finally seemed to have asked enough questions or were just too hungry to continue pestering her. Either way, Lily was thankful for it.

Some of their questions had been terribly annoying, like Which skin care products do you use? or How do you get your hair to look like that? Lily had just deadpanned with Body wash. and Brush., but Lavender and Parvati seemed to be very interested in such matters and had taken her answers seriously asking her which ones she used.

Lily whispered her thanks for his help to Harry, who always looked a little too surprised to hear it for her liking.

Now that all the commotion around her had died down for the moment, she was finally able to look around the Great Hall.

Everything was the same as it had been 20 years ago. Apart from the people that is. A few seats along, she could hear two identical redheads along with a third one discussing magical methods of aging themselves and bluffing their way into the Triwizard Tournament. They bore a resemblance to Ron and as it turned out after asking Harry about it, they were indeed his brothers. Ron seemed to have a lot of siblings. She had already been introduced to Ginny, who was also sitting across from her.

Her eyes travelled from the long tables meant for the students to the teacher's table.

Her breath caught in her throat when she realized that someone, she knew was staring at her. She met the teacher's painfilled dark eyes and continued staring at him in shock. The eyes, the face, the hair, the nose…

This must have been Severus Snape, her best friend.

His face was almost completely emotionless with only a hint of annoyance showing. Figures he'd be annoyed, she thought, he never wanted to be a teacher. But there was something more to it…

She smiled and waved at him. At that he just looked away, pretending to be interested in the conversations taking place around him, which Lily doubted wholeheartedly.

Lily pushed away the hurt his actions caused her. Maybe he didn't recognize me. She was determined to talk to him later. Maybe she wasn't so alone in this new world after all.

"Ah, that's Snape," Harry said, having followed her gaze, "Don't take it personally, he's mean to everyone who isn't in Slytherin."

"He is?" She asked, feigning nonchalance, while in reality she was intrigued to find out more about him.

"Yup. And I am his most hated student. He teaches potions by the way." Apparently Sev hadn't told Harry about their friendship. And he seemed to hate him…? But how could he hate Harry, who was so much like her? Lily's face paled in horror. Maybe Sev hated her, maybe they had had a fight!

She didn't know why Sev hadn't told Harry about their friendship, but she wouldn't tell him until she knew the reason.

She expertly changed the subject, "Is the course schedule of today any good?"

"id's's not bad...outside all morning," said Ron, who was sitting next to Harry, eating contentedly. "'erbology wid the Hufflebuffs and Care of Magical Greatures is still with the Slyderins." It was a wonder she understood. At the last word, Ron pulled a face of disgust, which had nothing to do with the food.

"I take it house rivalries still exist then?" She sighed. Why couldn't they all just get along?

The three nodded. She got the feeling that they had all accepted that house rivalry was meant to be. Well, she couldn't really blame them. Without Sev she would probably be the same. But her friendship to a Slytherin had opened her eyes and she had realized how pointless hating someone for some distinctive characteristics truly was.

"Well, the Slytherins don't deserve any better." Ron grumbled. "Most of them are malicious soon to be death eaters."

Lily gulped down a heated retort and changed the subject, "So how about Divination?" She was interested in the subject, but she hadn't taken it herself. She had been warned by some of her older acquaintances about how pointless it was. Also, later on, all of her friends, who had taken the subject complained about how ridiculous it all was.

Maybe this had changed over the years. They probably had a new Divination teacher now and maybe this one was better.

But judging by the Harry's reaction, this was not the case.

He looked on the verge of puking the breakfast he had barely touched. "Why did you have to remind me?" He groaned. "Divination is…" He didn't seem to find the right words. "the worst."

He looked like he still wanted to continue but was interrupted by Lavender. "Come on, Harry," Lily jumped at her voice, she had completely forgotten she was there. "You only hate it, because you don't possess the sight." Lily raised a questioning eyebrow.

"It's the talent needed to be able to foretell the future." Parvati answered matter-of-factly. They had apparently both been listening to their conversation.

"You would hate it too, if someone kept predicting your death." Harry grumbled defiantly. Lavender and Parvati's annoyed expressions turned into ones of pity. But Harry wanted that even less. He buried his head in his hands and groaned.

"We know it's hard to accept and we're sorry we mentioned it." Lavender said, apparently really meaning it. "That was really insensitive."

"Yeah, if you ever need to talk about what your future holds, know that we're there."

Lily bit back her laughter at their blind belief face to face with Harry's pained countenance.

"Er… Thanks guys, that's very nice of you."

"Anytime Harry." And finally, the girls went back to talking only to each other.

Lily turned to Harry and put a comforting hand on his shoulder, "I'm here for you too, Harry," She said in mock sadness, "Your death is unavoidable, but talking about it helps."

"Oh, not you too." He said in exasperation. But he was smiling at her.

"Harry, why aren't you eating anything?" Hermione asked abruptly, her eyes shining with concern.

"Oh, I went by the kitchens earlier, before meeting up with Katie." He emphasized her new name, as if to convince anyone listening in that she was indeed Katie. "Now that the elf yesterday was kind enough to tell us where it was, I thought, why not try it out?" He shrugged. Harry had actually went there and asked the elves for food, he just hadn't eaten it.

"You could have told me, mate!" Ron complained, "I have an interest in food too!" He seemed to really mean it, since he had even stopped eating to say it.

"And you would have gotten up at four o'clock in the morning." Harry deadpanned.

"True…"

"Besides, we can still go together."

"Oh, I'd like that." Hermione piped up at that, terrifying determination shining in her eyes. After a discussion of house elf rights and Dobby the house elf, who Harry had apparently met in the kitchens, they finally left for their first day of classes.

Lily would lie, if she said she wasn't nervous or excited about her first school day in this new world.


	9. Twins!

Honestly? What was wrong with these people?

It was only the end of her first lesson and Lily was exhausted already. And it had nothing to do with squeezing out Bubotuber pus. Hufflepuffs, Gryffindors and some Ravenclaws, who were all about research (those were really annoying; she was no research objective damn it!), alike had continued their questionings of her, right after they were out of McGonagall's sight. It was as though they had been waiting in the shadows like predators, with the only difference that what they hunted wasn't prey - or at least she hoped so -, but newest of the gossip mill. It didn't help that she wasn't just an ordinary exchange student. No, she was the cousin of the famous Harry Potter. Lily began to understand why Harry hated his fame so much. If this was what it meant to be famous, then, no thanks.

The fourth year Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs had even had the chance to pester her all the way across the sodden vegetable path until they had arrived at greenhouse three, where Professor Sprout had thankfully realised her discomfort.

Now, on their way to Care of Magical Creatures, thankfully the other Gryffindors had finally decided to give her a break, because honestly, she could feel her temper rising.

"You okay?" Harry asked in concern. They were walking side by side behind Ron and Hermione.

"Yeah, I'm alright," She forced a smile. She didn't want to worry him after everything he had done for her.

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Look, I'm sorry to tell you this, but you're a terrible liar." She pouted. "And I know how hard it is to deal with all the stares, I mean I'm Harry Bloody Potter." Her lips moved upwards without her control. "I just wanna say…" He suddenly looked flustered. "That you can talk to me if it gets too much." Then, he started rambling, "I know we've barely known each other for a day, but I'd like to get to know you, and-"

"Harry," She assured him. "It's alright, I'd like to get to know you too."

"Oh." She grinned the shocked expression on his face. Sometimes, Harry didn't see the obvious.

"Mornin'" Lily smiled at the voice of Hagrid and looked up at him. He grinned back at the four of them, though Lily could see the pain in the eyes of yet another person. She should have gotten used to it by now, she supposed.

Blast- Ended Skrewts, Lily decided, weren't creatures she was particularly fond about. Throughout the lesson she could see a pale, blonde boy jeering and pointing fingers at her. When she asked who that was, the answer didn't surprise her. Malfoys were Malfoys. So that was that bullying boy they had already mentioned on the train. She hated bullies.

Lunchbreak went by fast, without Hermione, who had disappeared to the library.

Then came the subject, Lily had been most curious about: Divination. Their way there was quite mysterious; they had to climb a tightly spiralling staircase and a silver stepladder to get there. Even the way the classroom smelled and looked, was different from other classrooms. Lily could smell something akin to sweet perfume as they entered, making her feel a bit fuzzy. She looked around the place. The curtains were all closed; the circular room was bathed in a dim reddish light cast by the many lamps, which were all draped with scarves and shawls. Harry suddenly looked very downcast and dejectedly waved for her to follow them.

It couldn't be that bad, could it?

The trio walked through the mass of occupied chintz chairs and poufs that cluttered the room and sat down at a small circular table.

"Good day," said the misty voice of someone right behind them, making them jump simultaneously.

Lily turned to look at her. Lily's immediate impression was of a large, glittering insect. She was a very thin woman with enormous glasses, who had a very weird sense of fashion, judging by all the beads, chains and bangles glittering upon her person. Or perhaps fashion changed, she mused, but even that couldn't make me wear THAT. She could ask Parvati or Lavender later on, she supposed, they seemed to care about such nonsense. Maybe her style was why they admired Professor Trelawney so much…

Back to the situation at hand.

The teacher didn't even notice her, the exchange student, so caught up was she with looking at Harry as though she was looking at someone who was about to drop dead any second now.

"You are preoccupied, my dear," she said mournfully to Harry. "My inner eye sees past your brave face to the troubled soul within. And I regret to say that your worries are not baseless. I see difficult times ahead for you, alas. . . most difficult. . . I fear the thing you dread will indeed come to pass. . . and perhaps sooner than you think. . . " Her voice dropped almost to a whisper.

Harry froze. She wasn't talking about what he thought she was talking about, right? He didn't show his fear on his face, though.

All the others could have seen, if they had looked his way, would have been a stony expression on Harry's face.

But they were too preoccupied with what Trelawney said next to look at him anyway.

Professor Trelawney almost went by them, when she finally seemed to have seen Lily. Oh, how much she wished she hadn't.

"You must be Katie Jackson," She said as if saying something no one else knew. "There is something curious about your aura…" She looked between her and Harry, her expression turning tragic again. "I fear looks aren't the only thing you two share, my dear." Lily heard someone gasp behind her (probably Lavender or Parvati or both) and had to wonder what this gigantic glittering bug meant. All the while, Harry had to bite back a laugh. "You two are destined to meet the same fate, not uncommon for twins."

"We're not-"

"Hush, my dear. I see things with my Inner Eye, that your eyes are too blind to see."

Without another word, Professor Trelawney swept past them and seated herself in a large winged armchair before the fire, facing the class. Lily didn't understand. Why were there people who seemed to admire her?

"My dears, it is time for us to consider the stars," she said. "The movements of the planets and the mysterious portents they reveal only to those who understand the steps of the celestial dance. Human destiny may be deciphered by the planetary rays, which intermingle…"

Then over the course of the lesson, Trelawney managed to do something only Binns had had the talent to do so before: Make Lily lose focus on her incredibly vague and useless lesson.

She thought about the stressful day she had had so far. It could have been worse; she could have been hated or found out. But that didnt make it any less exhausting. She wasn't the only one who had lost focus.

"Harry! Li- Katie!" Ron muttered.

"What?"

They looked around; the whole class was staring at them. Their identical eyes locked onto each other and they realized that they were the only ones who had no clue what was happening. Maybe they had a hereditary allergy to the sweet perfume in the room…

"I was saying, my dears, that you two were clearly born under the baleful influence of Saturn," said Professor Trelawney, a faint note of resentment in her voice at the fact that they had obviously not been hanging on her words.

Lily looked to Harry, asking him if he knew what the overgrown bug was talking about. He just shrugged, looking equally baffled.

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite understand…" Lily said.

"Saturn, dear, the planet Saturn!" said Professor Trelawney, sounding definitely irritated that they weren't riveted by this news. "I was saying that Saturn was surely in a position of power in the heavens at the moment of you two's birth. . . Your green eyes. . . your mean stature. . . tragic losses so young in life" Lily had half a mind to ask her if her fateful planet was the Saturn too, since she had seemed to have tragically lost her sanity. Yeah, and she also wanted to know what tragic losses of her life she thought she knew about. ". . . I think I am right in saying, my dears, that you were born in midwinter?"

"No," said Harry, "I was born in July."

Professor Trelawney turned to her expectantly.

Lily didn't want to answer her question; she wanted to lie. But she knew she had to. She had already told some people here about her birthday.

"I was born in January." She said hesitantly. Trelawney nodded and looked as if something she had feared came true.

"That's what I thought," she said tragically. "The final proof needed to be certain… You are twins."

How in the world did she come to that conclusion?

Ron hastily turned his laugh into a hacking cough.

Other than that, there was only shocked silence in the classroom. Lily had to restrain herself from rolling her eyes. Did these people not think at all?

"Separated at birth… after a world of tragedy… finally you've found your way back to each other…" She shook her head dramatically. "I fear you will not experience a world without further loss… Be careful, my dears."

At the end of the lesson Lily was convinced that Professor Trelawney needed professional help for her insanity.

After dinner and an amusing demonstration of Professor Moody's transfiguration skills, Lily was walking the corridors. Even though she didn't know Malfoy, she detested him already. The way he had treated Ron, she had wanted to hex him so much. But luckily Moody had done it for her. She chuckled to herself at the memory of the bouncing ferret.

She was looking forward to his Defense class now… It couldn't be worse than Divination.

She paused outside an ordinary- looking door. This must be it. She looked around in confirmation.

Yeah, this was the place Professor McGonagall had told her about. Lily raised her fist to knock on the door but hesitated for a few seconds.

Why was she so nervous about this? She had done this a million times before… kind of. But she couldn't completely push away the nervousness and fear she felt.

Still, she had to do this. She wanted to do this.

A determined look crossed her eyes, then, taking a deep breath, she knocked. For a while it looked like no one would answer.

But then an "Enter." Could be heard from the other side of the door.

Lily took another deep breath and did just that.

She came face to face with the older version of her best friend, Severus Snape.


	10. Discoveries

James Potter was bored. It had now been 24 hours they had been locked up for. 24 hours!

It might have been very spacey and comfortable, but it was still just a room! (And a bathroom and a kitchen.) How could anyone expect anyone to stay inside this one dorm for several weeks?! Especially if it was the Marauders they were talking about. Dumbledore hadn't thought that one through…

Looking around the room, he could see that it had unsurprisingly not changed at all during his trip to the bathroom.

He sighed and threw himself on his four-poster bed - not unlike those in Gryffindor tower – in such an aggressive manner that it made the other three occupants of the room look up at him. He expertly ignored them and scowled at the sky-coloured ceiling. Not even the moving Quidditch players up there could cheer him up.

He had expected it, of course. James was very intelligent and had logically deduced that nothing would change, no matter how long he took in the bathroom. But it infuriated him all the same.

"Hey," Sirius said, plopping down next to him. "What now?" He asked, with the air of someone who had exhausted all possible options and was at his wit's end.

James knew exactly how he felt. "I have no idea. But we have to do something. "

Sirius nodded. "Yeah, there is only so much you can do inside one room." He thought about all the games (exploding snap, chess and other common wizarding games) they had played and all the Peter-pranking they had done. But the games got boring after you played them more than once and pranking is only fun if you get a reaction. And Peter was very weird and quiet and just let them do to him anything they wanted. They had almost felt sorry for him. "You know what?" Sirius spoke up enthusiastically. "I think we should get out. Tonight." He spoke quickly, before he could protest, "I mean, you have your invisibility cloak, right?"

James' eyes lit up. "You're right, we could sneak out, when everyone else's in bed! We've done it a million times before, we could do-"

"I think not." They both jumped at the stern voice that came from right beside them.

"Remy, you scared us. We thought you were still lost in the depths of nerd-world." Sirius said, nerd-world meaning reading. He smirked, it would be good to have Remus accompany them. He knew quite a lot.

"Yeah, don't go so Minnie on us."

Remus ignored them. "Have you forgotten what Dumbledore said?" He spoke more angrily than they had ever heard him speak.

"No, but nothing will happen to us. We're experts after all." Sirius said confidently. Deep inside though, he was disturbed by Remus' behaviour. He had never so openly antagonised them before.

"Could you for once in your life use your brains and think this through?!" He yelled. "THINK about the consequences and THINK ABOUT OTHERS for once in your oh so happy and spoiled lives!"

What was wrong with Remus? They hadn't even done anything bad now.

Sirius was also getting angry now. "Spoiled? Do you even know who you're talking about?! And we can decide for OURSELVES whether we'd like to follow Dumbledore's advice or not! It's none of your fucking business!"

"But it is!" Remus raged. "I won't let you get us all killed by your stupidity!" The situation escalated quickly after that. And before they knew it, all three of them had drawn their wands. Peter was watching them fearfully from his bed. He didn't dare trying to calm them down, he was too afraid that the anger might be redirected towards him.

They started firing hexes, two on one. Even though James and Sirius were proud Gryffindors, they were too angry about Remus' undeserved fury to care about how unjust such a fight was.

It infuriated them even more that Remus seemed to be a very skilled duellist. Even alone, he was able to deflect the majority of their curses.

Until they decided to bombard him with jinxes from opposite directions and circle him with the rapidity of true Quidditch players, that is.

Defeat was bound to happen and luckily it came in the form of a simple Disarming Charm.

"Expelliarmus!" James yelled and Remus' wand came flying right into his right hand.

"Now," Sirius said. They were both circling him, like wild animals did their prey. "If you admit that we were right, we won't curse you."

"I cannot do that, Sirius, because you weren't." He stated in a sombre voice.

"Well, then…" Sirius raised his wand and was ready to curse one of his best friends out of pure fury. Why did he have to make him think of his cold family?! That always made him so angry…

But before he could even think of an adequate spell to use, he was disarmed and so was James before they could even react.

They followed their flying wands with their gazes until their eyes landed on Harry, who was looking like he was about to throw up and wore a shocked expression on his face.

"What is going on here?"

ANUNEXPECTEDCHANGEANUNEXPECTEDCHANGEANUNEXPECTEDCHANGEANUNEXPECTEDCHANGE

Lily had come here very determined, but now all the words seemed to be stuck in her throat.

Though she had spoken to Sev several times before, the age difference and the tense atmosphere made her freeze up.

Severus didn't appear to be better off.

He had obviously been grading peoples beforehand (judging by the ink, quill and papers) and didn't look up. This left her time to advance further into the room, until she was standing right in front of his desk.

"I have agreed to bring it up to them later, Albus." Severus said absently. "Kindly cease harassing me until then."

"I…I'm not Albus." Lily had to wonder why her voice shook so much.

Her voice alone was enough to make Severus stop scribbling insults on the paper. His hand was shaking, and he was clutching the quill very tightly. He seemed fearful of raising his head and look at her. But Lily couldn't shake the feeling that he had recognised her voice.

Since Sev didn't look like he was able to speak, Lily felt compelled to break the silence, "Er… I'm new here and… I heard you were my potions professor," She had become really good at lying. But she didn't know what she was lying for exactly. "And, since our school system in Ivermory is completely different, I was wondering if you… you could help me catch up to what… the standard is at Hogwarts…" Severus had raised his head a bit higher and was now staring straight ahead, past her. At the first glance, he looked blank, but Lily could see the slight crease and sweat on his forehead. Why were his eyes glistening so much? What had happened between them?

She rambled on, just to break the silence, "I'm just really bad at potions," She heard him utter something quiet and she could have sworn it was a snort. "If you don't have time, it's ok…" Why was he giving her the silent treatment? It made her so insecure. "It was stupid to ask. Professors have a lot to do. I'm sorry for bothering you." Her face was getting redder and redder from embarrassment. What had she expected? This Severus Snape obviously couldn't stand her. Or just didnt know who she was. Or both.

She started walking towards the door, tears already gathering in her eyes, but she didn't let them fall. She wouldn't cry until she was alone in her dorm. She was almost outside, when Severus finally spoke up.

"Monday, 7 o'clock. Don't be late." Severus said so softly she almost missed it. His voice wasn't annoyed or angry. It wasn't even McGonagall's stern teacher voice. No, this was the pained and heartbroken voice of a broken man. His voice told Lily more than his expressionless face ever could.

She turned back around. "Thank you… Professor." The professor just nodded, which Lily could sense was her cue to leave and though she had countless questions, she obeyed. She would ask him once he was ready.

Sev seemed to have built up even more walls around himself over the years and Lily felt like it was her duty to destroy them.


	11. Bully

**A/N: So apparently from chapter 7 onwards, some of my punctuations were missing. I have actually written them and I had no idea until now that they weren't copied into the published version... I'm very sorry and embarrassed about it, because I know it's a lot harder to read that way. I have now changed and reposted the chapters.**

**Anyway, from now on, I will correct all of the bad punctuation before posting it. Sorry**.

Harry couldn't believe his eyes.

James and Sirius were both pointing their wands at an already disarmed Remus. And they didn't look like they would be lowering them any time soon.

What's more, it seemed like they would start firing curses at an already defenseless friend.

It turned out Harry was right. Sirius said that he would curse Remus if he didn't admit he was right.

That reminded him so much of his time being bullied by Dudley's gang that he had to blink a few times to convince himself that this was really happening. Sadly, it was.

He quickly disarmed them, while lost in his not-so-happy thoughts.

At the Dursleys', he often admitted things he didn't want to. It was simple self-preservation - which he was lacking already - to do so.

In the end, it was never a lot of use anyway. No matter how much he begged or apologized, no matter what he said, he still got what was coming for him.

It made him feel helpless, weak and so pathetic. And in this moment, his dad and Sirius unwillingly reminded him of the Dursleys' and made him want to run away and hide or want to scream at them in an inexplicable rage.

But Harry Potter, the person he was pretending to be, was brave, headstrong and unbothered by people who hated him.

"What is going on here?" He heard himself ask. The three seemed to be perturbed by his presence, or maybe just by his probably weird reaction.

"Well, Remus here, started yelling at us without reason and started a fight." Sirius said.

"I didn't start the fight." Remus retorted, unusually angry. Harry had never heard him speak like that. Then again, he had only ever known him as a professor. "And if you had listened to me and truly thought about what I said, this wouldn't have happened."

Sirius looked like he wanted to say something indignant, but Harry took it upon himself to prevent another fight, which could easily turn into a fist fight now that they didn't have their wands.

"Could you please tell me exactly what happened?" Harry asked with a tone of authority he didn't feel.

James, who didn't want to look bad in front of his future son, decided to tell him their side of the story. Then, Remus told him about it from his point of view.

"So, you decided to curse someone defenceless after having disarmed them two on one?" Harry asked them severely. "Some Gryffindors you are." He knew how proud they were of their house. He held up a hand to stop them from protesting. "Even if he had it coming as you say, there is a better, braver way to go about it."

This seemed to finally hit home.

"Yeah you're right." James said. "That wasn't too good of us. Sorry, Remus."

"Yeah, I overreacted." Sirius admitted reluctantly. "But you did too."

"Yeah, I know." Remus sighed. "It's... It's just that this whole time-travel business has me on edge all the time." He sat down on his bed wearily. Even though his explanation was plausible, Harry couldn't help but think that there was more to it. The others didn't seem to share this sentiment though.

"It has stressed out all of us mate." James said, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder He and Sirius sat down on either side of him. Harry was almost convinced that their fight before was just a normal dispute between friends, when Sirius spoke up.

"Yeah," Sirius said, trying to cheer them up. "I'm already missing our fun times with Snivellus."

"Snivellus?" Harry asked, dread filling him. He had heard this name before.

"Just a Slytherin git in our year." Sirius said dismissively. "We like to play around with him. It's fun, but I don't think he really sees it that way." Sirius smirked.

"Yeah, I have no idea what Lily sees in him." James said angrily, arms crossed.

"Are they friends?"

"Friends? They're almost always together!" James complained. "He's probably tainted her already!"

"And what is this Snivellus person's full name?"

Sirius laughed at the question. "Well, Snivellus is just a more fitting name we gave him." Harry thought this was more mean than funny, but Sirius didn't seem to think so. "His name is Severus Snape and he's in the same year as us."

Harry's blood froze. "And you just pick on him, because…?"

"Because he thinks he's the best, just because he's not complete shit at potions…and he's Slytherin personified. He thinks he's good enough to get Lily, but he isn't!" James ground out, clenching his fists.

This sounded a lot like simple jealousy to Harry. And that was no reason to make fun of someone. Come to think of it, no one deserved to be picked on, not even Snape, who bullied students.

Maybe he had become like that, because of what his dad and his group had done to him in the past… Suddenly, Snape's hatred made a lot more sense.

He didn't know the extent of it, but it sounded a lot like his dad had been a bully.

Harry could feel his bubble of perfect parents burst.

"You think that is an excuse to hurt someone?" Harry's voice sounded angrier than he had intended. "To humiliate them, to make them doubt themselves?" Harry was losing control of his emotions and there was nothing he could do about it.

"It's not-" Sirius started, but Harry wasn't to be placated.

"Don't tell me it's not like that!" Harry screamed. This was getting more and more personal. Where had all this anger come from? "I know what it's like, okay? And it's not fun! Have you ever once thought about what he might feel, when you throw insults at him or humiliate him in front of his peers?!" He cursed his voice for breaking. He could hear the tears in his voice, even if his eyes remained dry. "What if the same happened to you, huh? There's no excuse for what you've done! None!" There was complete silence after his outburst. He hadn't meant to get this angry…

Why did he have to yell like that?! He had the chance to meet his dead dad and he managed to screw up, before he even had the chance to really get to know him.

He didn't dare look up at the faces of the occupants of the room, he was too afraid of what he'd find there. Anger, betrayal, disgust, disappointment or hate… He had seen enough of those emotions being directed at him and he wanted to avoid them as much as possible.

When Harry realised the full extent of what he had said, he quickly exited the room, his face burning with shame and embarrassment, not knowing that there was someone who had been listening in to his tirade behind the door Harry had left open. This someone managed to hide beside the door and wasn't discovered by a very upset Harry.

Harry ran as fast as his feet could carry him, which even though he was generally good at running was pretty slow, because of not eating enough and several aching injuries. Luckily, most people were in their dorms already, and couldn't hear his heavy breathing or see him in this state.

Harry knew he couldn't go back to his dorm yet, but he didn't want to risk being spotted by anyone else either. It didn't take Harry long to know where he would be going. It was where he always went when he wanted to be alone.

Harry entered the spacey room packed with books that always managed to distract him. Madam Pince was long gone and there were only two or three older Ravenclaws sat at the desks surrounded by stacks of books. They were too preoccupied with studying to pay him any mind.

On his way to his favourite place, Harry grabbed a random book about potions. At this moment, Harry just needed distraction, and fast.

Harry had to wonder why the library was always open…

Maybe the teachers wanted to give them the opportunity to study whenever they desired. That is, if they managed to do it undiscovered.

He went to the left corner of the room, where hidden behind several bookshelves, he would find two armchairs. Harry had no idea why the library didn't display such a comfortable place openly, since it would probably attract more students.

Well, in the end it helped Harry.

When he went past the last bookshelf in front of the secret place, Harry realised that it wasn't as well-hidden as he had thought.

Lily Evans was already sitting in one of the armchairs, emerged in something that looked like a muggle psychology book.

Even though Harry wanted to be alone, he felt like Lily might be the person, who would understand him the most in this situation. Besides, he was exhausted, and he really did want to read.

"Hey." He greeted and slumped down in the armchair opposite her.

Lily was startled by the voice and looked up at Harry.

She exhaled when she saw him. "Hey," She said. "I thought no one knew about this place." She smiled.

"Yeah, so did I." He smiled back at her, but it looked strained. "Maybe its one of our other freaky similarities."

Something had happened. Lily could see that Harry was shaken up. And knowing him (or herself), she was sure he wouldn't appreciate being asked about it directly.

"What brings you here?"

"I like this place. It's good distraction and very relaxing." Harry answered vaguely. "What about you?"

"Same." Lily answered. She wondered if she should tell him about the lessons she would receive from Sev. Well, he would find out sometime anyway. "And I needed distraction after my conversation with Se… Professor Snape."

"You went to talk to him?" Harry asked, less incredulously than she had expected.

"Yeah, I wanted to ask him if he could help me, to catch up in potions… you know? Because I like potions and it could get really dangerous, if I'm missing out on important information." She had thought more about what she would tell others about these lessons. And this sounded quite convincing.

"Er… Lily?" Harry asked unsurely.

"What is it?"

"Can I ask you something?" She nodded. Again, Lily had to wonder why it was so hard for Harry to meet her eyes. "Er… was…or is James a bully?"

Lily was speechless. She hadn't expected this question. This was the first time she hesitated to say something bad about James Potter. But the sadness and resignation in Harry's voice told her that he already knew the answer.

"Yeah…But I don't think he really knows what hes doing…" It was hard for her to find anything that would justify his behaviour.

"There's no excuse for it." The anger in Harrys eyes looked misplaced, but at least now she knew that they had another thing in common: They both couldn't stand bullies.

But Harry's dislike seemed more…personal. She knew better than to pester him about it, though.

"How bad is it?" Harry asked.

"It's mostly Se- Snape and occasionally other Slytherins. They don't see Slytherins as people." Now it was her turn to be angry. Harry apparently wasn't surprised about the Snape part. "They curse them, 4 on one, make fun of them and throw insults at them for no other reason than them being in a different house! It's not fair!" Harry nodded.

For a while, they were both lost in their own angry thoughts. Then Harry spoke up, "So, you know Snape, huh?"

"How much do you know?"

"Just that you two are supposedly always together and that my dad bullies him…"

Lily hadn't meant to tell him about it yet, but it was better if he heard the truth about their friendship from her, than lies from someone else.

"I wouldn't say always…" And she started telling Harry about their friendship, from the beginning (without any of Sevs secrets of course). Then she went on to talk about her life in general.

It felt nice to tell someone about her life in the past, even though it made her feel sadness and something akin to homesickness. But as soon as she saw Harry's interested and contented expression, soaking up everything she was telling him, she knew it was worth it.

It seemed all this was new to him. He obviously knew nothing about his mother's life.

Damn Petunia.


	12. Potions

"What the bloody fuck was that?" Sirius asked after Harry had left. He was gesturing towards the wide-open door, already in a standing position. The shock and anger at what Harry had said, seemed to have left him unable to remain in a sitting position.

James had found himself in a similar position. He just shook his head in complete bewilderment.

Why had Harry been acting like that? Didn't he agree that all Slytherins were bad? What was his problem with a bit of playing around? They hadn't done anything serious to Snape after all.

"He sounded a lot like Lily." Remus pointed out thoughtfully. He could mostly understand what Harry had implied, since those were some of his own doubts conveyed into words. But Remus had had a taste today of what a fight with his friends felt like just a while ago and he didn't desire another one.

"Yeah, mother like son." James groaned in bitter anger. He looked like he wanted to say more, but his words were interrupted by yet another visitor.

"I'm sorry to interrupt a speech that would surely turn into a great demonstration of useless self-pity, Mr. Potter." They could hear a voice from behind them.

"Minnie!" Sirius exclaimed. "Have you heard what Harry said? Is he always this weird?"

"I have not heard much of it, Mr. Black, but from what I have I can tell you that it would do you some good to reflect upon it." McGonagall responded in a strangely detached voice.

"So, what brings you here? Has our time apart been too long to bear?" Sirius said, winking suggestively.

McGonagall ignored him entirely. She turned to Remus. "I was sent to give you a remedy for your monthly affliction." She said, handing him a vial filled with some kind of disgusting potion. Remus paled rapidly and averted his gaze from his confused friends.

"It is a modern potion which provides you with the opportunity to keep hold of your sanity during your transformations."

Remus just nodded, his gaze glued to the floor, not trusting himself to speak.

"Wait... What are you talking about?" James asked. Looking at their faces proved what the professor had assumed already: The marauders had yet to get to know that Remus was a werewolf.

"I see." McGonagall said, the corners of her lips strangely twitching upwards. "I believe it is time to tell them about your fur-,"She cut herself off. "disease. It would surely only serve to...strengthen your... bonds and benefit your relationship in the end." They were too focused on the information they received to focus on the strange way she said it.

They looked at Remus expectantly. "What does this mean?"

"I...I..." Remus stuttered. He couldn't bring himself to say it.

"I will leave you to your heart-breaking confession then." She said on her way outside. "Your monthly potions will be delivered timely."

"The good old stern Minnie is back." Sirius said, looking at her leaving back wistfully. "She seems to have gained a sadistic and sarcastic side over the years, though."

"Remus...?" James asked tentatively, sitting back down on the bed next to him. "Are you ok?"

His friend looked to be in bad shape.

He only responded with a motion of his head that somehow looked like both a shake and a nod.

"You know, you can tell us anything, right?" Sirius added. "I mean, despite our fight earlier, we're still your best mates."

There were several moments of silence.

"I..." Remus opened his mouth then closed it again several times. "I... I'm sorry...l..."

"You could write it down, if it's easier." Sirius suggested. Remus shook his head but jumped up and went looking for something on the bookshelves. After a while, Remus returned with the third year Defense Book.

James and Sirius exchanged looks.

"Er...Remus? I don't think it's time for schoolwork." James pointed out gently.

"No...It's... you should read it yourself." And he told them the number of the page that detailed lycanthropy.

They shot him questioning glances. "It's...what... I am."

"You mean you turn into a wolf every month?" Sirius asked like it was nothing special. "Like girls have their period."

"No...I mean yeah, but it's a lot worse than that..."

"Do not underestimate what girls have to go through!" Sirius said in mock-anger.

"No...I mean..." Remus was completely flustered by their reaction.

"Seriously," James spoke up. He shut Sirius up with a scowl. "You could have told us sooner. It's not a big deal and it doesn't change anything."

Remus felt a lot of the pressure he had felt since arriving here being lifted from his shoulders... All the fear and anger he had felt about the situation slowly ebbed away. The potion and his friends' support made him want to cry in relief. His friends had their faults, but they were the best friends he could have ever wished for.

UC

Tuesday was a day Harry had not been looking forward to. And it wasn't because it was a particularly long or tiring day. No, it was actually one of their shortest days of the week.

They only had two periods today, and they weren't even double. The problem was not the amount of work they had to do today… you could say it was more like the type of work, namely potions.

Even though Harry usually pretended to only hate and be angry at Snape for his nasty comments, but otherwise mostly unaffected, the truth was that they hit him somewhere deep down. To see someone so openly hate him, kind of confirmed his doubts about himself and made him become even more unsure of himself, even in areas he hadn't been before.

And it was so much easier to be angry than show his real vulnerable self.

But after last summer Harry had realised that hiding himself had become a lot more difficult. Even though it had only been a few days since coming here, Harry had already slipped up a couple of times. He had mostly managed to cover it up successfully, but he might not be this lucky the next time.

Furthermore, he was afraid his mother would believe what Snape said and not want to spend time with him anymore. He couldn't bear losing her too after he had managed to chase away his dad…

"Harry! Are you with us?" Hermione asked, waving her hand in front of his face.

Harry looked up. All three of his companions were eyeing him in mild concern. "…Yeah. I just kinda spaced out for a bit."

"No shit," Ron said, earning a painful nudge from Hermione.

"What was that for?" He whined indignantly, rubbing the sore spot. Hermione ignored him.

"Are you ok?" She asked Harry.

"Yeah," At his friends' incredulous looks, he decided to explain further. "I'm just a bit worried about potions…"

Hermione and Ron nodded in understanding.

"Don't let that git get to you, mate." Ron said. "He's just the big greasy bat of the dungeons. His words don't have… Why are you looking at me like that?" Their pale faces were looking up at something horrifying that seemed to be behind him. "He's right behind me, isn't he?"

"Very good, Mr. Weasley." Snape drawled. "It is unfortunate that you seem to be lacking the same observation skills when it comes to correctly reading instructions."

He turned around to enter the classroom and Ron almost thought he hadn't heard most of what he had said when, "Oh, and 20 points from Gryffindor."

"20?" Ron mouthed in indignation. Harry just shrugged and they entered the classroom with the rest of the Gryffindors and Slytherins.

Snape, as usual, cut right to the chase and told them to make the third-year potion called Doxycide in pairs. It would be 'easy' to make since it was 'below their required level of competence', according to Snape. He didn't seem to care that the majority of the class WAS below that level of competence he had set.

Lily and Harry would get to work together, since they were sitting next to each other. Harry didn't know how to feel about that.

For one thing, he was glad to be able to work together with his mom and maybe get to know her better.

For another, he wasn't sure how much of his true abilities he should reveal. Since he neither wanted to disappoint her, nor make her think he was good at potions.

It was a hard decision.

They got ready for the brewing.

"We didn't do that, last year," Lily whispered nervously.

"Don't worry," Harry assured her. "I kinda know how to do it."

In the end, Harry decided to show her that he knew how to brew it. This wasn't just about him, he should also think about Lily's wishes. She probably wanted to impress Snape with her potion and it would be unfair of him to take that opportunity away from her.

Besides, it was a third-year potion. That meant everyone could do it, right?

Even though Lily hadn't known anything about the potion, she could have still brewed it almost perfectly, even without Harry's help. They still worked together, though, doing the same amount of work, and were more coordinated than many of the pairs who had been brewing-pairs for years.

Only once did Lily almost mess up by adding the hemlock before after the cowbane essence , because she was looking too much at Snape, who had ignored her the entire time and was purposely breathing down people's necks, far away, at the other side of the classroom. Luckily, Harry caught her sleeve and informed her of her mistake.

After that, Lily focused more on their potion than their teacher. She didn't want to screw it up for Harry. It was also important to her to prove herself to Sev and make him proud. But that didn't work if Severus was doing everything in his power in order to not have to look at her.

"All done, " Lily said happily. She smiled. It looked exactly the shade of black it was supposed to. "I think we did everything the right way." She said, checking the instructions again.

"Yeah, it stinks exactly like it should." Harry agreed, happy about his mother's happiness.

Looking around the room, they could see that they were the only ones who had managed to complete their potion this fast.

"Wow," Lily whispered. "We're a good team. "

"Yeah, I think the others got too distracted by arguing what each of them should do and got delayed like that."

Perhaps it was because they both wanted to be liked by the other or something like that, but the two of them had gotten to work without hesitation and accepted and completed each other's suggestions.

Lily looked at him pensively for a while. "Why didn't you tell me you were good at potions?"

"I'm not really good, it was just because it was a third-year potion."

Lily looked around the classroom pointedly.

Ok, so maybe not everyone knew how to brew the potion.

About 90% didn't seem to, to be precise.

At Lily's questioning look, he said, "Er… So maybe I secretly like brewing Doxycide in my freetime…?"

"Is that an answer or a question?" Lily deadpanned.

"Er…"

"You also like going to the library and youre smart and studious-"

"I'm not-"

Snape apparently wanted to ignore them so much that he didn't even use the opportunity to bully Harry and take off points for talking in class.

"Come on, your favourite place is the library, where you choose to read a book about potions. I'm not stupid, you know?" She joked, then turned dead serious again. "The only question is: Why are you hid-"

She was cut off by a loud noise coming from beside them. A cauldron had exploded. Neville and Milicent's cauldron.

"I see. Not even a competent partner can prevent you from destroying school property" Snape sneered, vanishing the mess with a flick of his wand. He approached a trembling Neville menacingly. "You truly are hopeless Mr. Longbottom."

Why was Sev so mean? She was certain Severus had been too far away to actually see who was truly at fault in this case. She wanted to say something, but was stopped by Harry and her self-restraint. She would talk to him later.

Lily brought their sample up to the front. Sev pretended to be absorbed in some kind of notes and again, averted his gaze away from her.

Lily bit her lip, trying hard not to say anything. She wanted to scold him and ask him questions, but she couldn't do that here; that would have to wait until Monday. That was what these extracurricular lessons were for, after all.

That is, if she would gather the courage to talk to him about anything personal until then.

But first things first: She needed to talk to Harry.


	13. Talk

Why was Harry waiting for her? She had thought for sure that he would have left already… He had seemed like he wanted to avoid the conversation that was to follow at all costs.

"Hermione and Ron have already gone to the Common Room," Harry informed her. "They wanted to get a head start with their homework. It's a lot this year." Though that was irrevocably true, Lily had got to know Ron enough over the past two days to know that he wouldn't voluntarily do his homework before the last minute. No, Harry had probably told them to go without them so that they could have the inevitable 'talk'.

"I'm not done talking to you, you know?" Lily reminded him.

"Yes, I know." Harry smiled at her. SMILED? It was so hard to tell what he was really thinking. He reminded her of Sev a lot in that aspect.

Still, there were differences in their methods. While Severus liked to keep a completely emotionless face (to others mostly; the two of them have gotten over that point), Harry showed emotions which had nothing to do with what he truly felt.

Lily didn't know which one was worse. She was for being honest and confronting her problems head on, instead of hiding.

Harry seemed to have some Slytherin inside of him.

"What's up?" Harry waved his hand in front of her face. "Liiillly…" He said slowly.

"Sorry, I spaced out. We could go to the library," she suggested. "To our secret place."

Harry nodded and they started walking at a comfortable pace.

"What were you thinking about?" Harry asked.

"Huh…?"

"Before, when you spaced out."

"You." Lily said bluntly, looking sideways at Harry. He was frowning. "You are… hard to figure out."

"What?" He asked innocently. "I am as transparent as you could get."

"Only someone who isn't, would say that."

Harry shrugged, but otherwise didnt react to that statement.

"You are a lot like me, but also a lot different." Lily said pensively. "Not in a James-Potter way." She joked. "And I know we aren't our parents, believe me," She clarified. "It's just that you're confusing me by being so much like me, but at the same not." She looked at Harry, who seemed confused. "I don't make any sense."

"No," Harry assured her. "It's not that. I get what you mean. It's just…" He trailed of, unsure how to continue. "I didn't expect you to give this so much thought."

"Oh." Lily didn't know what else to say.

UC

"Let's put up a silencing charm." Lily said, as they both took their seats in the library's secret armchairs. "Just in case." If someone found out who Lily was, they would all be in danger.

Harry just hoped the charm didn't have anything to do with the questions Lily wanted to ask.

He had to be careful, she was good at deciphering personas.

He barely knew her, and he was telling her more than he had ever told his friends all those years.

But, a small voice in the back of his head reminded him, Lily would be gone soon anyway.

"So," Lily started, "Why are you pretending to be of average intelligence when you could be great?" Her interrogative tone made him gulp. _You could be great, you know, _the sorting hat's ominous voice instantly popped into Harry's head, _It's all here in your head. And Slytherin will help you on the way to greatness, there's no doubt about that._

Harry was sure that Lily didn't purposely use those words, but they still made him even more nervous.

"Er…I'm not pretending to be anything I'm not." He was just stalling, and he knew it. But it was hard to let go of such well-kept secrets.

People usually saw what they wanted to see, and he could adapt to their image of him. And he could manipulate them, so that they came to the conclusions he desired.

But… What did Lily want to see?

Lily sighed. "Please Harry, we've already talked about this. You are obviously hiding your abilities," And possibly something else too, Lily silently added to herself. "And I know we don't know each other all that well - probably not well enough to have this conversation – but I thought we have somehow… sped up the process of becoming friends." She was speaking her honest opinion and she hoped it got to Harry. "Besides, sometimes it's easier to confide in strangers and I think it would do you some good to talk to somebody." Still silence. "I won't tell anyone, I promise. I can even take an unbreakable vow…"

"No!" Harry stopped her urgently. "There's no need for that." Lily exhaled, she wasn't sure if she knew how to do the vow correctly. "And I agree. I feel a lot closer to you than I do to other people I've only known for two days. It must have to do something with being relatives…" He was beating around the bush again. "So…"

"Come on, Harry." Lily exclaimed. This was ridiculous.

She didn't realise the small flinch the sudden raise of her voice caused. "It's not like this is a terrible or embarrassing secret! It's something positive that you're trying to hide about yourself and I just wanna know why, so I can understand. Because I don't understand why anyone would willingly make themselves look worse than they actually are."

Silence.

Lily almost thought Harry wouldn't speak, when, "Maybe I don't want to be great." Harry said so quietly that Lily almost missed it.

"What do you-"

"Greatness only causes you pain." The voice in which he said it was detached and small, and they strangely didn't seem like Harry's words. His arms were folded across his chest protectively, making him look equally small. His eyes and head seemed to have been drawn to the floor, rendering it impossible for Lily to read his expression.

"Harry…" She walked over to him and touched his shoulder gently. This time the flinch was hard to miss. "Are you OK?"

For the first time, it occurred to her, that this might be a more deep-rooted problem than she had originally thought…

The "Yeah…" had never sounded less believable.

Sometimes, actions spoke louder than words. She just had to figure out which language Harry's actions were speaking.

"You want to really get a head start on our homework?" Lily asked, switching to a lighter topic. Harry startled as he was pulled out of his daze. "Divination seems especially tiring."

"Yep, we should start with…" He smiled sheepishly, back to Harry. "Wait…What is it that we have to do…?"

He looked into Lily's eyes quizzically, finding the same nonplussed look there. "I think Ron knows…"

They shrugged simultaneously and Lily burst out laughing, "I thought… I th- thought at least one of us… w- would know," she said between peels of laughter. "But… I- I was too angry beca-cause of thw tw-twin thing…"

Harry joined in. "She… seriously s-seemed to b-believe it." He also doubled over in laughter. "That… l-look in her eyes… l-like sh-she m-mmade the… discovery of the century…"

"Wh-why… didn't we re-realise how hi-hilarious she is?" Lily asked. Even though it wasn't that funny, they weren't able to stop laughing. Laughing was a good way to release the stress and tension of the past few minutes.

"Let's do History of M-magic."

Lily was glad Harry had come out of his hole of… whatever that was.

The more she got to know him, the more mysterious he became. Lily loved mysteries and she wasn't about to let this one go.

UC

"Ok, that was easy!" James whispered triumphantly. They had managed to walk out the door without any implications.

"Yeah, I thought for sure that Minnie would come up with something to stop us or lock us in!"

Sirius agreed. They didn't even have the invisibility cloak on yet. All for the thrill.

"Isn't it a bit suspicious?" James asked.

"She probably just wasn't in the mood."

"Black, Potter!" McGonagall's voice came from behind them, making them jump simultaneously.

"Why is she always coming from behind us?" Sirius asked under his breath.

"Didn't you two understand the simple instruction to stay in your room?!" She seemed angry, as always. But there was worry there too.

"We were cooped up in there for two days!" James whined. "We can only take so much!"

"So, you decided to risk not only your own lives, but the welfare of the entire wizarding world?"

"No need to be dramatic, Minnie,"

"I wish I was being 'dramatic', Black." The fact that she didn't reprimand him for calling her 'Minnie' showed how serious she was. She seemed sad now, rather than angry. "But you play an important role in the war. I wish you didn't, but your well-being is key to our world's future."

"You mean so I can die later?" James yelled in anger. "All you want to do is keep me alive so I can die at the right moment, to your benefit!"

"That… that is not- "McGonagall was very pale now.

"You could change the future and make it better," Sirius chimed in, equally furious. "But all you care about is to send us back to our miserable futures!"

"It is for- "

"'the benefit of the entire world', blablabla." James' face was red from being so worked up. "But you don't even think about changing anything! Maybe that would benefit our world more!"

"That is enough, Mr. Potter." Judging by her stern voice, McGonagall had apparently regained her composure. "Time is not to be meddled with. Everything has come the way it should have." Her stern voice told them not to talk back to her. They still tried though, but they were silenced. "Even what might seem as a beneficial change at first, can turn into a catastrophe once realised. I don't expect you to understand that, all I ask from you is, not to do anything rash." Why was her tone more begging than scolding? It was more terrifying this way. "I'm truly sorry it has turned out this way." She led them back into their room, and left, again without locking the door.

But none of the boys was in the mood to sneak out anymore tonight.

Besides, there seemed to be some kind of alarm on the door that informed McGonagall of their attempts to free themselves, which was initially the same as being locked in.

But not to them. It made them feel less powerless.

Only Minnie could know them this well.


	14. Blackmail

"Wadd magez yuu so appy?" Ron asked Lily, who was sitting across the table.

There were several reasons why it was a miracle Lily even understood his question.

The noise of the Great Hall in the morning of the third school day made it even harder to decipher mouthfullish, which was Ron's favourite language while food was in sight. Lily only understood, because she had already known the language from none other than her best friend.

Yep, Severus Snape, the dignified Slytherin, often spoke with his mouth full.

Only when they were alone, of course. Lily let out a wistful sigh. Even the smallest of things reminded her of her time; the friends and family she left behind, heck, she even missed Petunia.

And it had only been three days. The problem wasn't the amount of time spent apart, but the uncertainty of ever seeing them again. She didn't have the chance to just owl them like she had other times they had been apart. Being stuck in another time, sucked.

She shook her head to get rid of all the depressing thoughts swirling around in her mind.

She had been happy today, no, she was still happy today. "Charms." She answered Ron happily. Her inner turmoil hadn't been realised by neither Ron nor Hermione, who had been bickering about table manners. Harry was another matter, but when was he not?

Ron's brows knitted together in genuine confusion. This time he swallowed the contents of his mouth pointedly, and bombarded her with a number of questions that probably only made sense in his unique brain, "What do you mean charms? Have you tried a charm that makes you happy? Can I try it too?"

"No, I'm sorry, but it's not a charm," Lily said, amusement creeping into her voice, "It's charms, the subject. It's my favourite subject and I'm very interested in what it's like in the future!" She was getting giddy with excitement again. Talking about something that she liked always helped her forget about her worries.

"Yes," Hermione agreed. "This is a truly unique experience. I wish I could go back in time just to see the way classes had been!"

"I can tell you about them, if you like." Lily proposed.

Ron rolled his eyes with a muttered, "Nerds." He locked eyes with Harry and his expression screamed, 'You're the only one that's like me, we can complain about nerds together' or something like that.

Maybe Harry was just imagining it. Regardless, it was better to be careful about what he revealed than to hurt his friends.

UC

"So, you really went to school with Professor Flitwick?" Harry asked Lily on their way back to the Great Hall. He had seemed familiar the moment she saw him up close, but only his behaviour and way of speaking gave her the clue to recognise who he really was. Not that it was too hard to; there weren't many people she knew who were that small.

"Yeah, he was head boy last year and he helped Sev and me out a couple of times." She spoke in an admiring tone of voice. "Once, after one of Potter's group's bullying sessions, Sev was in bad shape. He had been hexed with several different spells and we just didn't know how to heal them all." Lily paused, reliving that moment. Her eyes were alit with anger and sadness.

"As always Sev refused to go to the hospital wing. He would have rather hidden away from the world than give them the satisfaction." She rolled her eyes. "Anyway, that's when in my hurry to the library to find a solution, I accidentally ran over a very small seventh year." She chuckled at the memory. "Long story short: The Head Boy, who knew everything about the counter measures against all kinds of hexes, healed Sev and told us to come to him whenever we needed his help again. Even though Sev had been reluctant to go to him at first, he eventually realised that he was trustworthy, since he kept his word about not telling anyone." She looked up from the ground at Harry, who was still listening attentively; smiling with her. "I never got to know his name, now I finally know. He is a great teacher. I'm glad he continues helping the students, even after he leaves school."

Why are you looking at me like that?"

"It's nothing. It's just that I didn't realise you were this old." Harry teased.

"Hey, I'm 14!" Lily pouted playfully.

Ron and Hermione were walking a few feet away from them to give them privacy for their 'mother-son bonding'.

"What do you recon they're talking about?" Ron asked.

"I don't know, but we should leave them to it." Hermione said. She smiled. "They do have a lot of catching up to do."

"I hope they catch up fast." Ron mumbled so quietly that Hermione didn't even realise he was speaking. She was too busy looking into a very thick book.

"How can you read and walk and have a conversation at the same time?"

"Practice." Hermione said absently.

"Which language is that?" He peered down at the book, trying to decipher the words.

"English."

"I think they lied to you 'Mione. That cannot be English."

"Mhmm." Hermione uttered noncommittally.

Ron let out a sigh and looked back at Lily and Harry's amiable conversation. He missed his best mate, especially when Hermione was in one of her not-doing-anything-but-reading-phases.

UC

At lunch Harry's biggest nightmare suddenly appeared in his lap: a folded nameless piece of paper with something written on it on the inside.

Someone had taken great care of delivering him a message in secret, using a highly complicated spell to do so. This wasn't a simple a note meant to prank or bully, no, this was probably blackmail in its purest form. The someone whom it had come from, was probably in the Great Hall now, waiting to see his reaction.

Well, they wouldn't get one. Harry was good at masks.

He folded the paper again and put it in his robe-pocket. He went back to playing around with his food and eating as much as he had planned.

UC

"I need to use the bathroom." Harry said to his group of friends as they left the Great Hall. "I'll catch up with you later."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Lily asked.

"No it-"

"I can go with you." Ron cut him off. "I need to go too."

"Ok, we'll meet you in transfiguration then." Lily said.

"You should hurry up." Hermione advised. "You don't have much time until the lesson begins."

They both nodded and ran off.

"So, where are we really going?" Ron asked once they were out of the girls' sight.

"The bathroom…?"

"Come on, there's got to be more!" Ron burst out.

"No, sorry, Ron." Harry said, amused.

Ron sighed disappointedly. He thought they would have one of their adventures, just the two of them.

"Are you ok, Ron?" Harry asked in concern.

"Yeah, I just haven't seen you around that much the past couple of days and the whole summer. I just wanted to spend some time with you."

"Well, we can spend time with each other, Ron." Harry assured him hurriedly. "I was just busy with this whole time-travel business and getting to know my mom. I'm sorry if I've forgotten about you." The sincerity and guilt in Harry's voice made Ron feel guilty about bringing it up.

"No, it's ok." He said awkwardly.

"Well, we could do a chess battle tonight." Harry suggested. "I think I might have a chance to beat you now."

"You bet."

UC

"Are you ok, Harry?" Ron asked. Harry had been playing as always, and as a pretty good chess player, Ron realised when all the games were irrevocably lost. Which was always pretty soon, since Harry had always been lousy at chess.

"Yeah, fine, just worrying about my next move." He smiled.

What worried Ron was neither the way Harry played, nor the way he focused on the game or Ron. He basically behaved like he always had aside from a few weird details that even Ron, who generally wasn't too observant, didn't miss:

1\. His hands were shaking.

It didn't go unnoticed, because they were using their hands to move the chess pieces all over the board. Even in wizarding chess, the occasional use of the hand was necessary. (Especially in the beginning, they had had to place the figures on their positions.)

Otherwise the shaking could have been hidden more easily.

2\. He was sweating

Again, playing chess helped to realise that. Ron first became aware of it when his fingers became wet after touching some of the figures.

3\. He was smiling too much.

Other times he had been annoyed when he lost, now he smiled. That was perhaps the weirdest thing he did, since Ron could never imagine doing that himself.

Ron was certain that something was wrong with his best friend, he just couldn't pinpoint what exactly that was.

"Are you ill?" Harry let the remains of his queen, which he had just picked up to have something to do with his hands, fall.

"What…?"

"Are you ill?" Ron said a bit more slowly, a frown gracing his face. "Because you're all sweaty and shaky."

After a moment of thought, Harry spoke, "Yeah, I'm not feeling too well." He spoke softly, looking down at the board. "I just didn't want to say anything, because it's the first time in a long time that we can spend some time together. I'm sorry."

"Uh, it's ok." Ron said. "You can just lie down if you're not feeling well."

UC

_Stay calm_, Harry thought to himself, gripping the Marauder's Map that he held in his hand tightly, _It's nothing you haven't counted on. _

He had taken precautionary actions that would help in most possible scenarios, but there were always missing or unexpected variables…

_I know your secret Potter. Come to the Second Floor Girls' lavatory at Midnight if you want it to stay hidden._

That was what the letter had said. He had memorised it and burnt it since he didn't want anyone to find out about it.

His anxiety about this meeting tonight was so severe that it even had physical effects on his body, which he was too worked up to hide successfully.

Harry had obviously had his suspicions about who had written the letter. There weren't many people who hated him enough to go through the trouble to go around looking for his secrets.

But what if someone had coincidentally found out and thought to use it to their advantage?

That was something Harry couldn't have prepared himself for.

Even though Harry had thought he would be there too early, the person who had decided to blackmail him, was already there. He almost sighed in relief when he saw who it was. All his anxiety dissipated and was replaced with cold calculation.

It was indeed Draco Malfoy. How predictable. He could deal with him.

"Hello, Potter." He smirked as if it hadn't been obvious that it would be him. "I know your secret."

Duh. That was why Harry had come. He wanted to role his eyes, but… how was he supposed to act now?

Harry always adapted his behaviour to the situation and to what people expected. That was why he hated being alone with a person he didn't know that well. It made it easier for this someone to see the difference between his behaviour in different situations.

But if Malfoy already knew the secret, he would have to come out as someone else anyway, to protect himself. Better go all out. He just hoped it worked.

"And I know yours." Harry said emotionlessly. His manner of speaking was so different from how he usually spoke, that Malfoy was momentarily shocked into silence.

Then, he went back to his smug self, "I know about your mudblood mother." Malfoy drawled. Harry didn't show the relief he felt that it wasn't his other secret.

It was still important to hide this one, though. He didn't want anything to happen to Lily. "That she is here, disguised as Katie Jackson." Dramatic pause. Malfoy waited for a surprised and indignant outburst from Harry, but it didn't come.

He was becoming increasingly creeped out by him and Harry kind of enjoyed it.

"I know about what you did at the sorting." Harry said calmly.

"What… what are you talking about, Potter?"

"Come on, Malfoy, you know exactly what I'm talking about."

"You don't know shit, Potter." On the surface, Malfoy looked like he was getting more and more furious, but you could also see panic in his eyes, if you looked closely.

"The diribitus spell," Harry drawled. Malfoy tensed at the name and shook his head in denial. "Used to make yourself appear like the embodiment of one of the four houses at Hogwarts to the sorting hat."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"But you do, Malfoy." Harry stepped closer to him, looking Malfoy straight in the eyes. "You used the spell to be sorted into Slytherin, because you were afraid what your father might have thought of you, if you weren't. You got Mr. Burke to perform the spell."

"You cannot prove anything, Potter." Malfoy spat angrily, masking the fear he felt.

"You haven't researched the spell thoroughly, have you?" Harry asked, grinning. "You cannot make it disappear completely, that are the disadvantages of dark magic." Malfoy frowned. "If someone cast a curse diagnostic charm on you, it would pop up."

"You're bluffing…" Harry raised his wand. "What- What are you doing?!!"

"Here." Harry handed him the paper he conjured. Malfoy's hands began to shake as he read it. There it was. Written in unmistakable capital letters.

"How?" Malfoy asked, defeated.

"Your sorting seemed shorter than that of everyone else." Harry replied casually. "I researched it and got to know that a sorting has to take at least 10 seconds, yours was only approximately 8.5 seconds long. My theory developed from there. I even snooped around in Knockturn Alley, the summer before second year."

Malfoy absorbed all the information in silence for a while, thinking of a way to outsmart Harry.

But there was none.

This secret was too important to him to risk it ever getting out. "What do you want?"

"I want you to swear not to tell anyone about my mother, make an Unbreakable Vow." Malfoy was shocked that Harry even knew about it. "In exchange I will keep quiet about your secret."

"I want you to make an Unbreakable Vow too." Malfoy demanded.

"I don't feel like it." He could still use the information to his advantage.

"Then I'll tell everyone about your mudblood mother."

"Then I will tell your father about what you did to get into Slytherin." Harry said menacingly. "He would be very disappointed to have a son like you. Which house would you have gotten into, huh? Hufflepuff perhaps? Or even Gryffind-"

"Ok, ok I'll do it!" Malfoy interrupted hurriedly, his voice filled with anger and panic. "Do you know how to do it?"

"Yes."

UC

Harry was on his way back to Gryffindor Tower when it happened. He was close by, when he was hit with a dizzy spell (not the actual magic spell). He had to lean against the wall to keep himself upright.

He looked down at the Marauder's Map. Luckily no one was nearby.

Well, he couldnt be seen anyway. With his Invisibility Cloak on, not even the light of his wand was visible, which meant that not even the paintings had a reason to complain.

He was completely invisible.

Why… why was he feeling so bad? Like he was about to faint. He usually managed to avoid or foresee these situations while at school…

His head felt heavy and his vision became more and more blurry. He turned back around to hurry to Gryffindor Tower. Maybe he could get there before… before… He dropped the map and his wand and fell to his knees, breathing heavily.

He crawled to pick up the map (still no one nearby), then moved back towards his wand, all the while wishing to be in Gryffindor Tower.

But he couldn't do anything as he leaned fully against the wall now in a sitting position, his head swimming. Thinking was becoming harder and harder.

Was his Invisibility Cloak still on? He looked around frantically only to find it had fallen off, making him feel even worse. He needed to put it on…

Wait, was that a door?

**A/N: So, I haven't really planned to make so many changes, especially with Harry. I apologise if it annoys you that I made him out to be smarter or more Slytherin than he was described as in the books or otherwise changed him too much. There'll probably be many other changes, which I don't plan, they just happen. The story will differ more from cannon than I had planned. Some of the pairings too. I'm sorry if it bothers you.**


	15. Glamours

When Harry woke up, he could feel light shining at his face through the window. He didn't want to get up yet, so he kept his eyes closed.

It was rare that his sleep wasn't plagued by nightmares and he just wished it could have last longer. It had been so...peaceful, not dreaming or thinking about anything, just sinking into nothingness.

But he knew he had to open his eyes eventually. He didn't want to worry anyone and the light that seemed to surround his whole body indicated that it was high time he got up.

Wait...why was light shining on him if he always slept with his curtains closed and privacy charms in place? And why was the surface of his bed beneath him so hard?

And then it all came back to him... He shot up like a lightning, looking around warily. He hadn't gotten to Gryffindor tower, that he was sure of...so why was he there? He remembered feeling dizzy in the corridor and then it was all a bit unclear in his memory. There was a weird painting and... and a door!! Behind that door, apparently, lay an exact replica of his Gryffindor dorm room with all the stuff of every inhabitant in the exact position it had been when he left...

Well, that was unlikely. But this was a magical school, so this was probably a magical room that turned into whatever he wished for.

He was still feeling a bit dizzy and weak, but he got to his feet to inspect the room anyway. It really looked exactly like their Gryffindor dorm.

Everything was there, even his trunk, just the way he had left it. The familiarity was eery.

He rummaged through his trunk looking for a specific book, which had some of his most important secrets hidden in it. There it was. The book called "How to get better in potions" was actually called "How to become better at chess", which was actually another big trunk filled with secrets. He usually opened it in the bathroom, where no one would bother him.

To make a book into a different book was simple transfiguration which even Harry Potter could do. The first book title practically invited people to become suspicious and they would get what they wanted and all their previous suspicions would dissipate. And even if they didn't, they wouldn't find anything. Only by putting his hand on the book and saying 'Everything's ok' simultaneously did it turn into the trunk. So even if he was forced to put his hand on it, he wouldn't say that (even accidentally) while being forced to do something he didn't want to.

The trunk was filled with books, potion ingredients, potions, other magical artefacts, his diaries and other things that were better kept secret. So, even the content of his secret trunk was exactly as it had been. This room had some powerful magic working for it.

But that was a mystery to solve some other time. By the looks of it, his dormmates would be waking up soon.

He quickly drank the potions he needed, reassessed his glamours and hurried outside, completely forgetting his invisibility cloak and map, which he regretted a few moments later, when he heard one of his most dreaded voices here at Hogwarts.

"Potter!"

Harry stopped running and turned around slowly only to come face to face with Severus Snape, the person who reminded him so much of who he really was.

"Yes sir?" He tried to sound like someone who was trying to suppress his anger while really his fear was overtaking him.

"What are you doing here at such an early hour, Potter?"

"Just taking a walk. Sir."

"Indeed?" Snape said. "How unexpected. The great Harry Potter walking the corridors. Alone. Where are your admirers?"

"It's not against the school rules to take an early-morning walk,"

Snape narrowed his eyes at him suspiciously, approaching him. "You are never anywhere without the intent of causing trouble. Just like your father."

Harry looked up at him in defiance instead of looking at the floor in doubt and embarrassment.

"This has nothing to do with my father."

There was a moment of silence, until Snape spoke up again softly, "Your protectiveness of your father is astounding, especially after the fight you had."

"What fight?"

"Don't take me for a fool, Potter," he sneered. "The whole castle could hear your little outburst."

Harry clenched his fists, trying to supress all the unpleasant emotions that threatened to swallow him by anger again. "What's between me and my dad doesn't concern you."

"On the contrary, Potter," He said maliciously. "The two of you together might be an even larger disaster than separately." He came even closer to him so that he was right in front of him, his black hollow eyes trailing down over his whole body, seeming to dissect every single part of it. His gaze lingered on his forehead when he said, "Your scar is gone. Next time you should take better care of applying the glamour charm."

Harry couldn't help but widen his eyes in fear and let some of the other suppressed emotions change his facial expression. Snape looked at him for a moment, then left swiftly, robes billowing behind him.

Harry quickly conjured a mirror to see himself.

His scar was right there.

UC

"Where were you?" Lily asked. She hadn't seen him since dinner yesterday and he had been pretty upset then. It must have been bad if even Harry couldn't hide it.

Harry had just arrived through the portrait hole in the almost completely empty common room, where Lily had been reading a book by the fire.

"I just went to see Madam Pomfrey because I wasn't feeling too well." Harry seemed calmer, but also more upset in a different way.

Ron had told her about Harry being ill and maybe it was true, but her intuition said otherwise. And a mother always knows, or so she heard.

"So, Harry what-"

She wanted to say more, but a breathless voice cut her off, "Harry, where've you been!" Ron said. "Your bed's empty!"

"I'm sorry Ron, I went to see Madam Pomfrey because of how bad I felt."

"Oh."

"I didn't want to wake you up."

"Well, that's ok." Ron said. "Next time leave a note or something."

Harry nodded, then changed the topic, "Where's Hermione?"

"Library, she rarely leaves that place anymore." Ron huffed.

"We should get going then since you like to take your time with breakfast."

"Shut up."

UC

Lily, Harry, Hermione and even Ron were sitting in the common room, doing their homework after dinner.

The day had been very...interesting. In more ways than one.

Defense was definitely the subject that differed the most from how it had been in the past.

Doing unforgivables in front of the whole class? A bit risky, but Dumbledore had always been a bit eccentric.

Harry had been very uncomfortable under the attention Moody had given him for surviving the killing curse and Lily had felt kind of protective of her friend.

She hadn't said anything though, because she knew Harry wouldn't have appreciated that.

She looked over at him. Harry was quietly working next to her. Whenever she spoke to him, he exhibited the same behaviour he had before that day.

Throughout the day Lily noticed several weird things (some more than others):

1\. Harry had been extra careful to avoid a conversation alone with her. He didn't openly say no to it, but managed to evade it some other way by deflecting attention or changing the topic or including his other friends.

2.Harry was barely eating anything. Maybe he had always eaten this little and she just hadn't realised it, because she generally wasn't paying too much attention to food.

But today, Hermione's naggings about him having to eat more seemed justified.

3\. What was weirdest of all, however, wasn't Harry. It was Sev. He was quietly and inconspicuously inspecting their table, more specifically Harry. Harry seemed to realise it too and instantly became nervous whenever it happened.

There was something going on between them and Lily was going to find out what.

"Harry, can I talk to you for a second?" She asked, already standing up this time. "Alone?"

Harry seemed to finally reluctantly give in and followed her outside the portrait hole. "What's up?"

"Please, we don't have to do this again." She pleaded. "Just tell me what's wrong,"

"There's noth-"

"What's going on between you and Sev?"

"Ah... I saw him in the corridor on my way back from the Infirmary." Harry explained, rubbing the back of his head. "I was a bit rude to him, so he must be really angry at me."

"Oh no, he wasn't angry." Lily, who knew Severus very well (or at least the 14 year old version) had seen right away that he looked with neither the usual grudgeful hate nor anger at Harry in the Great Hall. It wasn't any particular emotion, it was more like the I'm-gonna-dissect-you-until-I-know-your-secret-look. Which meant that Sev had found himself a new enigma. And it was apparently the same one Lily had chosen for herself.

Like Lily, he had always loved solving mysteries and apparently, even with 20 years age difference, some things never change: They would compete on who gets to the bottom of it faster or solve it together. _Which one will it be, Sev?_

Obviously, to Lily, Harry meant a lot more than just a mystery. But she was a generally curious person and she would find out why Harry was so much different, but still so much like her. And this seemed to be part of that.

"So, you won't tell me anything?"

"There is nothing to tell."

"Then you won't mind if I go to the Infirmary to ask about which treatment you received from Madam Pomfrey this morning, will you?"

"No, you can go." Harry said calmly. "It will be unnecessary though. She will tell you about the cold she healed."

Lily faltered for a moment, but still hurried off towards the Infirmary, determination burning in her eyes.

UC

Madam Pomfrey was healing a 1st year's broken arm when Lily came in.

She was breathing heavily from running too fast. She didn't have long until curfew.

"Ah, Miss Jackson." Madam Pomfrey said after sending the first year on his way. "What can I do for you?"

"Have you... seen... Harry's watch?" Lily improvised. "He must have left it this morning."

"Watch?" Poppy asked, frowning, all the while using several cleaning charms like she did every night right before curfew. "It is surprising, but I haven't seen Mr. Potter yet this year and I hope it remains that way. He has gone through enough already." She wore a pained expression on her face and Lily knew that there was more to it than she wanted to say.

"What has Harry gone through?" She asked.

Madam Pomfrey shook her head as if to clear some of her nagging thoughts away. "Nothing dear, just what you already know of." Lily knew that she was lying, but she also knew that she wouldn't get anything else out of her.

"Thank you, Madam Pomfrey." She said, turning back towards the exit and running back to Gryffindor Tower.

So, Harry HAD been lying to them. He had never gone to the Infirmary.

Why wasn't Lily surprised?


	16. Wishroom

Lily was hurrying out of the hospital wing without any idea about what to do with this information.

Maybe she should confront-

"Lily…" She heard a small voice from behind her.

She turned back around and was surprised to find Harry leaning against the wall next to the entrance of the hospital wing.

He looked perfectly healthy as always.

Lily wondered what he really looked like underneath the glamour charm.

"I thought you didn't care about what I'd find out here." She said tartly, crossing her arms.

"Look, Katie…" She realised that he went back to her fake name, even though they seemed to be alone. Why? "We can't talk here and it's almost curfew." His urgent and determined voice with an undertone of fear into it, made her nod slowly. "Come with me. I promise I'll explain everything to you."

He took her by the hand and instead of running back the shortest way to Gryffindor tower, it became clear soon enough that Harry led her in a different direction.

"Where are we going?" Lily whispered.

"You'll see." Harry gave her a small smile.

It took a while to run from the first floor to the seventh floor and once Harry stopped in the middle of a corridor in front of a weird painting, they were both panting and had to lean against the wall.

Once Lily felt able to talk, she asked, "Wh-why did… we stop… here?" She said between breaths.

Harry took a deep breath, "I think… I think… there's… some kind of wish room here…" Harry was already moving around frantically searching for something. "How… what… here…" He was muttering something to himself so frantically that Lily feared for his sanity.

"What are you…?" She trailed off when she heard distant footsteps seeming to come towards them. Harry ignored them and continued to think and look around.

"Harry, I think someone's coming…" She said as the footsteps grew louder and louder. At the same time Harry's eyes seemed to light up in triumph. He started walking up and down, seemingly lost in thought.

Lily was on the verge of grabbing him to drag him away, when suddenly a door appeared on the wall, making her jaw drop in shock.

In the end, Harry was the one to yank her away from her wonder and into the room, just before the person whose footsteps they had heard could see them.

Lily looked around in wonder. "Where are we…?" It looked similar to the fourth year Gryffindor girls' room, simply filled with different stuff. It could be what the boys' room looked like, but that couldn't be, right?

"The fourth year Gryffindor boys' room." Harry said. Lily looked at him questioningly. "I mean… it's a wish room I think… I'm not sure, but it seems to turn into whatever you like it to be if you walk around 3 times in front of it. Or at least it works when you wish to be back in your room."

That reminded her... "And why did you wish to be back in your room when you found it?" Lily asked sternly. "I want some answers, Harry. And you promised me you'd explain."

"Yeah, right…" Harry lost the smile he had worn when he talked about this discovery, making Lily almost tell him he didn't have to tell her.

But this was too important and serious, so she kept her mouth shut, waiting. "Let's sit down, it's kind of a long story." They both sat down next to each other on the edge of Harry's bed.

He took a deep breath and said, "So, yesterday at lunch, I got an anonymous letter telling me to the Second Floor Girls' bathroom if I wanted to avoid my secret getting out."

"What?" Lily asked in concern. "Are you okay?"

Harry smiled wearily.

Instead of asking what secret the letter was about, Lily's first question had been about his well-being. She was a great, caring person and Harry didn't want to lose her. He would have to be better at hiding his biggest secret.

"Yeah, everything turned out fine in the end," He said. "I had been really nervous about it, though. Which is why I was acting so weird yesterday." Lily nodded in understanding. "It was Malfoy who had sent that stupid letter." Harry said in contempt.

Then he looked up into her eyes, "He told me he knew about you being my mom."

"Oh, Harry why didn't you tell me?" She asked sadly.

"Because I managed to make him take an Unbreakable Vow to promise he was never going to tell anyone." He was back to examining his lap.

"How?" Lily asked, perplexed. Malfoy didn't seem like the kind of person to be easily persuaded to do that.

"Malfoy used the diribitus spell at his sorting."

"What's that?" Harry seemed reluctant to explain the situation and Lily had no idea why.

"It's a spell to influence your sorting. Malfoy used it to be put into Slytherin."

"And what has this got to with…?"

Harry sighed. "I used it to blackmail him into keeping quiet."

"Oh…" Why had she been so slow on the uptake? "Yes, that's a good way to keep this quiet. I don't know if I had been able to think so fast and pull it off…"

"Wait…You're not angry or disappointed?" Harry asked fearfully.

Lily furrowed her brows in confusion, "No, why should I be?"

"Err… nothing. I think we should go now. It's probably long after curfew now." He went to pick up the Marauder's Map and Invisibility cloak, which he had forgotten on the floor last time.

"Let's go…" He was about to put the invisibility cloak over both of them when he looked down at the Map in his hand. He froze in shock.

"What's up?" When he didn't answer, she looked down at the map too. There, right where they were supposed to be had they not been swallowed up by a hidden room, was a dot labelled Severus Snape pacing and stopping occasionally.

Any doubts she had had about something having happened between Sev and Harry, dissipated when she saw Harry staring fearfully at the piece of paper, his hands shaking.

"Harry…" She said, tentatively touching his shoulder, pretending not to realise his flinch. "It's okay. We'll get out of here somehow." He just shook his head. "What happened?"

Harry hesitated for a moment, but decided to answer, to Lily's surprise, "H- he… knows that I'm using the gla-glamour charm."

That wasn't what she had expected, but it made sense. "How?"

"I don't know." He shook his head again. "I don't think he knew for certain until this morning when he told me my scar was gone."

"Was it?"

"No…"

That was such a Sev thing to do. Trick him into giving a reaction, a kind of test.

Harry ran his fingers through his hair. "What should we do now?"

Lily thought about it for a second, then said, "I think we should tell him the truth."

"What?!"

"If we explain everything to him in detail, I'm sure he'll understand."

"Understand?" Harry laughed bitterly. "Lily, I am his most hated student."

"And I am his best friend… or former best friend. And he's a teacher, he HAS to listen to us. It's best to speak to him earnestly."

Harry hesitated for a moment, then chuckled, "That is such a Gryffindor plan."

Lily smiled. "Well we aren't in Gryffindor for nothing. I know it's hard.

Especially for you with what happened between the two of you… But I'll be there with you the whole time, you don't have to be afraid." She squeezed his hand.

"Can't we hide under the cloak and hex him before he realises the door…?" Harry asked half-joking, half-serious.

"No, I don't think that'd be the best way to go about it, unless you want him to hate you more." Now it was her turn to chuckle.

"Let's go."

UC

Snape was walking the corridors, searching for any students who thought walking around the school five minutes after curfew was acceptable.

He had already caught a Ravenclaw third-year, who had believed studying was a reason to forego the school rules.

Snape had sneered at her and proved her wrong by subtracting points and assigning her a detention. Her shocked, pained expression filled him with a kind of sadistic glee that made him think that being a teacher might be worth it some days. It lasted for approximately five seconds until he remembered how much he hated his job.

Now, he was on the seventh floor, on the floor where he had met Potter this morning. Oh, how much it would satisfy him if he could make the son of his bully angry, make him sputter in indignation and make him feel how powerless he was in this situation. Just as powerless as Snape had been when James Potter's group had attacked him.

And Potter junior was just like his worthless father.

Or so he had thought.

James Potter's return to the living forced him to see the differences between the two Potters.

Even though he had only had the displeasure to meet the Marauders once since they had arrived, disguised as Minerva, he realised that James Potter was even more annoying than Harry Potter. Where he was arrogant, Potter junior was angry. Where he was persistent, Potter junior gave in. And…where Potter senior made fun of him, Potter junior … defended him.

Snape would be lying if he said that that wasn't one of the two main reasons why he doubted Potter was completely like his father.

The bullied boy still inside of him wanted to thank Potter greatly for what he had done and even the man Severus Snape couldn't go on hating Potter as much as he had before.

The way Potter had defended him reminded him of… Lily.

Lily, who was here again. Lily, who made him want to hide and never come back and break down and apologise to her tearfully at the same time.

He ignored those thoughts, just like he ignored her. Because if he let her get close to him again, it would only cause pain for the both of them.

He had regretted agreeing to giving her extra lessons the moment she had left his office…

But he couldn't bear to see her sad or disappointed, especially if it was caused by him. It reminded him too much of the past.

It was surprising how much one girl could still affect him. Then again, maybe it wasn't.

Regardless of how bewildering it was, Lily Evans was here.

And she and Harry Potter got along very well. That was the other main reason why he doubted all of his conceptions of Potter were true. Lily had always been a good judge of character...

Or at least until she fell in love with marry James Potter.

He was about to further discredit James Potter, when he heard quiet voices from the corridor just around the corner.

This was the corridor where he had seen Potter this morning.

This was his chance to get back to hating Potter again. He had no reason to hurry up since the voices didn't appear to be moving at all.

When he turned the corner, however, no person was in sight. And no footsteps could be heard either.

"Accio invisibility cloak!"

Nothing happened.

He walked further down the corridor and came across a door that was swiftly shrinking out of sight.

Potter must have gone in there. Maybe, it was one of the Marauders' secret passages or rooms.

He wouldn't let this chance to get back at them go, no, he would regain his hate for Potter and destroy part of the Marauders' legacy.

Snape smiled maliciously and started searching for a way to get in.

After a while he realised that whatever it was, it was very well protected.

Just as he was about to return to the dungeons and come back some other day when he was better prepared, the door reappeared and two small fourth year students walked out of it, one looking determined the other fearful.

His chance at sadistic glee disappeared when he realised that this conversation would bring him nothing but pain.

Welcome to another great night in the life of Severus Snape.


	17. Truth

"What is the meaning of this, Potter?"

It was surprising, really, that Snape managed to speak in his usual manner without even a hint of the turmoil inside of him. But he wasn't an occlumens for nothing. "Out after curfew, dragging our first exchange student into trouble."

_Yes, that's right, pretend she's someone else._

"I'm s-sorry sir, we were-" What was that quiver of fear doing in Potter's voice? Potter was supposed to be angry and defiant, damn it! It seemed as though Potter was purposely trying to defy his prejudices... and that made him angry and eager to reawaken them.

"Save your excuses for some of the many mindless people doting on you."

"But, sir. We were j-just-"

"You dare disobey my orders?" He approached him. "Just like your father-"

"Sir, I am very sorry to interrupt you, but that isn't right!" Lily's voice spoke up and Snape knew that if he was looking at her this instant, her eyes would be shining with defiance and protectiveness, perhaps even anger. It was the same voice she had so often used, when standing up to the marauders, when they tormented him. Was _he _the bully now?

That was too painful to think about...

"We would like to tell you what happened and why exactly we were out after curfew. After that you can determine our punishment accordingly. Please just hear us out, Professor." Potter just nodded meekly.

"I'm listening." He drawled dangerously. Snape crossed his arms, his eyes focusing on Potter instead of Lily.

Even though Potter did look a lot like Lily, it was better to look at him than Lily Evans herself.

Realising that it was his turn to speak, the boy said, "Err... It's not meant for anyone else to hear... It has to do with Katie's heritage." Snape raised an eyebrow. That was more subtle than he would ever have expected a Potter to be, which admittedly wasn't saying much.

"I will hear you out if you show me the secret passage you have come out of."

He was still solely looking at Potter, who was shifting under his piercing gaze the same way he had this morning. _What are you hiding Potter? Why have you suddenly changed so much? Or is it just the rest of the world around you that changed?_

"It's not a passage, sir." Potter explained. "I think it's a kind of wish room that appears as whatever you think about, while passing by it 3 times I think."

Well, if that wasn't interesting. "What are you waiting for?"

"Err, what would you like it to be, sir?"

"The room where you were before."

Lily sniggered quietly at that request, but he still didn't turn to look at her. Seeing her happy would remind him that she would never be happy again, because of him. This Lily would die in a few years because of him.

"Professor?" Lily asked timidly. He must have been lost in thought for a while, for now, the door was there again. When he entered the room, it wasn't hard to understand why Lily had sniggered.

He looked around, a permanent sneer on his lips. He would never have guessed that he would see the inside of a Gryffindor dormitory room...

And, well, it was as bright and messy as he had expected.

"I don't have all night." He said impatiently, leaning against the wall next to the door, fixing a spot on the wall between the two of them. Both of them reminded him too much of the one person he loved more than anyone else, one of them was that person.

"Yesterday, Harry was blackmailed by Draco Malfoy, who had found out about me. But Harry re-blackmailed him and escaped, but -"

Lily started saying, but was interrupted by Snape, "What did you do to re-blackmail Malfoy, Potter?"

"The diribitus spell, sir."

_Please know about it, please,_ Harry silently prayed.

But it was a very ancient spell, so it wasn't surprising that he asked him to explain.

"It is a spell you can use to determine your house before the sorting and..."

"...Malfoy used it." Snape finished for him. He had thought something was off about the boy's sorting and now he knew why. "So, you used this to prevent him going after... Katie."

"Yes," Harry gulped, this would be bad, but he would tell the whole truth even if it got him into trouble for Lily... and to prove that he was more like a brave Gryffindor than a sneaky Slytherin.

He ignored that trying to act just the right Gryffindor way was Slytherin in itself...

He took a deep breath, "I made him take an unbreakable vow to be sure." He prepared himself for a shouting match by closing his eyes. But it never came.

Instead the potions master's voice turned into a deadly whisper.

"You got Malfoy to take an Unbreakable Vow?" Harry nodded. "And he willingly took it?" Harry nodded again.

"Do any of you two even know the spell for it?"

"Yes... I read something about it, thought it might be useful." Harry mumbled.

Snape played the situation over in his head again. "How very Slytherin of you, Potter." He smiled maliciously. "20 points from Gryffindor for your Slytherin ways. This punishment will do your house proud." He mocked.

Harry looked over at Lily to see her reaction. She seemed to be trying very hard not to protest against this unfair treatment. She was glaring at Snape, like a chiding mom would. Harry almost exhaled in relief when he saw that she wasn't angry at him.

"Though I am grateful for an opportunity to rid your house of as many points as possible," Snape drawled, "it would interest me greatly how this excuses you of a punishment for today."

After that, Lily started talking. This time, Snape didn't interrupt her at all. He just let her explain everything after that in detail. Adding some of her personal worries and feelings into it. She didn't mention anything she knew Harry wouldn't want to be revealed, though.

"... Then Harry decided to get us in here to talk about everything, because he was afraid we might be overheard again."

For a moment there was silence as Snape went over the information he had just received. "Thank you, Miss Jackson for explaining the situation more informatively than your partner in crime." He glared at Potter, who shifted under the sudden attention. "Seeing as from your explanation it has become clear that you have only been dragged into this unfortunate situation by Potter, who is a known troublemaker, only he will be punished by a week of detentions in the dungeons."

"That is not fair, Professor. I -"

"It is very admirable for you to try to help your friend, but sometimes the mess he created is too big to get out of, unless he tries it himself."

"But-" Lily shut up, only because she saw Harry's eyes pleading her to let it go.

"You should hurry back to your dorms, unless you want someone else to punish you too." He drawled as he left the room, the teens following him. "Detention starts tomorrow at 6 o'clock, do not be late."

"That is so unfair!" Lily exclaimed in anger, once Severus was out of sight. "We should talk to him again..."

"Because that worked out so well the first time." Harry smiled wearily, he was used to this by now.

"Why are you so calm?" Lily asked. She stopped walking, making Harry stop too and look at her. She slowly put her hands on his shoulders and said seriously, "You can't just take treatment like this. It isn't right. If he punishes you, he has to punish me too."

"But isn't it better that only one of us got punished? That's less damaging."

"That's beside the point." Lily shook her head and released his shoulders. "Fact is, that you shouldn't take this just like that."

"L-Katie, you weren't here the past 4 years." Harry explained gently. He didn't want to ruin Lily's opinion of her best friend, but this was necessary. "This is actually not that bad. He barely deducted any points. I think it was because you were there."

"Okay," Lily said wearily. "But he still acts like what he hated most when he was my age: A bully that favours their own house and hates on people of the opposite house." She sighed. "I wish I knew what happened to him to make him like this." Frustration had crept into her voice now. "But I don't know how! He won't even look at me or say my name..."

"You can try on Monday during your extra lesson..." Harry suggested.

"Wait... How can he have my detention and your lesson at the same time? I doubt that my detention will be shorter than an hour..."

Lily shrugged, "No clue, he probably reschedules your detention or takes it back." She yawned as they entered through the portrait hole.

"Harry! Lily!" Ron and Hermione came to them right away.

"We were so worried about you." Hermione said, hugging them both. "We had no idea where you disappeared to."

"We have looked everywhere for you." Ron said. "Where were you?"

"It's kind of a long story..." And Harry explained the situation to them too.

If he had to tell Snape, his friends should know too.

UC

It was dinner time of the fifth day of their imprisonment, when Minerva entered their room.

"We have come across a way to make the remaining time you have to stay hidden more enjoyable." She said in the usual Minnie-voice, straight to business.

Sirius and James, who had been in the middle of a game of exploding snap, and even Remus, who had been reading, jumped to their feet right away.

"Whatever it takes, we're in." Sirius announced dramatically. The other two nodded.

"There is a room on the seventh floor, which turns into whatever you wish it to turn into." She explained. "The only requirement for your wish to come true, is to pass by the wall three times and think of your desired location."

"Nice!" James exclaimed in excitement. "How did we never find it?"

McGonagall shot him a glare. "You should thank your future son for that. He found it when he was in a moment of need."

"He did?"

"Yes. He was the one to take the idea of you moving in there to the headmaster. Without him, you would be confined to these walls."

This baffled both James and Sirius. They thought Harry would still be angry with them and wouldn't go out of his way to help them. By telling Dumbledore about such a great room that he could have used all to himself, nonetheless!

"Potter," When James looked up at her questioningly, she added, "...the younger one, did everything to avoid telling you about these satisfying news himself. Would any of you know why that was?"

For the first time James and Sirius felt a small pang of guilt for the way they had behaved. Maybe they should have explained themselves in more detail...

"We had a fight." James said. "But you already know that."

"I most certainly do not."

Sirius frowned, "But you came in right after Harry left, to give Remus his potion." Sirius paled.

"Wait, if that wasn't you... Does that mean it's poisoned...?"

"No, of course not." She said thoughtfully. "I recall Severus being responsible for the brewing of the potion... Maybe Albus wanted him to bring them to you, for some unexplainable reason..."

"Wait." James said incredulously, "Did you say Severus? As in Severus Snape?"

"Yes, he is the potions professor of this school."

"Poor students..." Sirius muttered, trying to be quiet, but McGonagall seemed to have heard him anyway.

She shot him one of her most serious glares. "I will not tolerate disrespectful behaviour in any way. He is a member of our staff and is to be treated as one."

"Yes, Professor McGonagall." Sirius and James sounded like they didn't mean that at all.

"If you don't, you will be punished by detentions, just like any other student of Hogwarts. And rest assured, Severus' detentions aren't fun."

This made them more reluctant to do something that would earn them one. They would have to be extra careful not to get caught...

"You have 20 minutes to pack your things. I will be waiting outside."

She turned back, as if she had forgotten something. She looked at the four poster bed, which had all of its curtains drawn.

"Are you coming too, Mr. Pettigrew?"

"I'd prefer to stay here, Professor." He said just loud enough for the others to hear.

"As you wish."

UC

"This is so coool!" Sirius exclaimed once they were inside the room that was a quidditch pitch at the moment.

"I know," James said proudly, "That's why I thought about it."

McGonagall cleared her throat, making them turn back around.

"I fail to see, how this room will be an adequate accommodation for the night." Her voice was as stern as always, but her lips were curved slightly into a half smile.

"Oh, well, the grass is pretty comfortable." Sirius explained, lying down to demonstrate it.

"I still believe a dormitory of your liking would do better for the night." As they deflated, she added, "You are allowed to come out under your invisibility cloak to change it whenever you please, though. But you shouldn't forget that we have a charm on you to overlook your whereabouts. You are not to leave this room for anything else. Is that clear?"

"More than clear." All three of them chorused.

And that was how the room of requirement became the home of 3 of the marauders.


	18. Confrontation

The weekend passed fairly well, for almost all parties concerned.

The marauders minus Pettigrew - they decided to ban the traitor from their group - enjoyed their time immensely.

It was basically the best holiday possible.

They could have anything they wished for.

The only thing they had to do was step outside under the invisibility cloak and walk around a bit while thinking of their desires.

The only thing that didn't work, was wishing for nourishment - if snacks and sweets could be called that.

That wasn't too disheartening though. They had access to house elves that were happy to please their every need.

Between house elves and the room, there really wasn't anything to be sad about.

Even causing mischief was still possible. Once they wished to prank Snape and to their surprise a ghost-like replica with Snape's exact mannerisms awaited them inside the room.

There was truly nothing missing... So why were there moments when they felt like there was? They pushed that away, though. It was easy between all that excitement and entertainment.

Meanwhile, Peter didn't experience anything positive. He felt left alone, fearful and surprisingly betrayed.

He wondered if the other marauders had reacted the same way, had it been any other member of their group who would become a traitor. Would they have just abandoned anyone else without question?

The other three seemed to be so close to each other and always stuck together.

When they had found out, none of them had been particularly sad or asked him why he would do something like that. They had believed it quite readily and were mostly angry with him. Not sad that they lost Peter.

Peter had felt like an outsider and jealous of their friendship many times before. Their reaction confirmed to him that he had been right all along.

He wished he could be back to 1974. There, at least _someone_ would care about him. He would have the possibility to write to his family.

Here, no one seemed to like him.

He didn't bother to wipe away the tears that streamed down his face, since no one would be there to see them anyway.

He was completely alone. In a world he didn't know.

All the while, Lily mostly enjoyed her first weekend in 1994. The school and the students or teachers, weren't all that different from 1974.

Which meant, the weekends passed the same way they had in the past.

She missed her friends and family, of course, but the new people she met here were pretty welcoming too.

She mostly spent her time with Harry and his friends, doing everything they did.

Walking outside, playing games and even studying. She was sure that Harry knew she would think about everything she left behind if she was left to her thoughts, so he did everything to distract her from it.

There wasn't a moment she didn't feel welcome or included and she knew she had Harry to thank for that.

His observant, compassionate eyes didn't miss a thing.

She had grown incredibly fond of him in a very short amount of time.

And the more time they spent together, the stronger the feeling grew.

Which was also why she was so upset when Harry came back from his first detention with Sev.

Lily, Hermione and Ron were waiting for him in the common room, when Harry entered shortly before curfew.

"Hey guys," He said, smiling at them wearily. The smile didn't reach his emerald orbs. "You didn't have to wait for me." He sat down next to Lily, in the seat that was closest to him.

"What did the git make you do?" Asked Ron angrily.

"Nothing too bad actually, just some cleaning." It was obvious that there was more to it, which made Lily narrow her eyes and look for any clues, Harry's demeanour might give away.

Of course, his appearance was as healthy as always.

He was shaky, though. And somehow, his stance seemed to have become more... insecure. The way he held himself was like he wanted to shrink and disappear from view.

"Yeah, that still sucks, mate." Ron said, scrunching up his nose. "Imagine spending hours in the same room as that greasy git." He shuddered.

Lily had to bite her lip in order to refrain from defending Severus. The way he behaved... they had every right to hate him, she supposed.

"He's not that bad, Ron." Harry surprisingly put in. Lily knew it was only because of her and she felt her heart warm at the gesture. "He really only made me clean. And after breaking the rules, I deserved it anyway."

"Are you serious?!" Ron looked so scandalised, it was almost comical. "Snape hated you from the moment he's first seen you and you're defending him?"

Harry shrugged. "I think I can understand him. Not everyone likes me."

Ron was speechless when Hermione spoke up, "I think you have every right to hate him after the way he has treated you, but I'm glad if you find some way to respect him as a teacher. Even though he's a bad one, he still is someone you should listen to and obey." Ron rolled his eyes at her Hermione-like speech.

"Yeah, okay... thanks for the advice." He said uncertainly.

Hermione perked up at that. "You're welcome."

"I'm gonna go to bed soon, I'm exhausted." He smiled at them all. "Really, thank you for waiting. Do you need anything?" The question was mostly directed at Lily, who shook her head.

UC

The next day passed without incident, so Lily had almost forgotten her worry about Harry's detention. Until Harry went to his second one.

She told Hermione and Ron to go to bed, because they looked like they were ready to bite each other's heads off. They had had one of their fights about house elves and Lily had gotten tired of them after they discussed the same arguments for what felt like the hundredth of time.

Plus, if they weren't there, she would have more of a chance to discuss the detentions.

They were reluctant at first, but seemed to be quite glad to get out of each other's hair in the end.

She knew they would just forget it until tomorrow.

When Harry entered, her worries took over full force. He looked so downtrodden and devastated somehow... only until he realised she was there, of course. Once he saw her, he put on one of his happy and confident masks, which infuriated her to no end.

"Hey," he said, plopping down next to her. "How are you doing?" He gestured at the potions book in her hand.

"Just revising for tomorrow." She worried her lip nervously. "I'm so nervous about being alone with him... I don't know if I should talk to him, he seems bothered by my presence." She looked down at her hand, which was fiddling with a loose thread of her sleeve.

"Lily," Harry spoke more firmly than Lily had ever heard him speak, making her look up instantly. "No sane person is bothered by you." His emerald green eyes looked deep within her identical ones. "You are one of the kindest and bravest people I've ever met. The way you stood up to him the last time... for me...despite everything you know." Why did he say it like it was an unimaginable thing to do? "What I wanna say is that you're amazing and that Snape is a fool if he doesn't like you."

Lily couldn't hold it back anymore. She threw her arms around him and hugged him, not even realising his surprised flinch this time.

"What... what..." Harry was extremely surprised by the unexpected show of affection and only awkwardly patted her back, "It's okay..."

Lily pulled away and wiped at her eyes. She could be overly emotional sometimes.

"Are you okay?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, everything's fine." She said with a small smile. "Thanks for cheering me up. I feel a lot better now."

"That's good." He smiled back at her sincerely.

"So..." She spoke up, changing the subject. "What exactly is happening during your detentions with Sev? You look absolutely exhausted. You can't hide anything from me, remember?"

He sighed, but surprisingly answered her, "Nothing much, I just can't really take criticism so well... and Snape, well, he likes 'taking me down a peg'." He leaned back wearily in his seat, examining his fiddling hands, looking so unsure and shaky that it broke Lily's heart. "It's not like he's done anything bad, I'm just super sensitive is all."

Lily knew he was defending Severus for her sake and as such wasn't telling her the whole truth. But looking over at his small and hurt form, fully awakened Lily's protective instinct.

She felt so angry at Severus, an anger she usually had only ever exhibited on his behalf when dealing with Potter and his group. Sev had also ever been the only one she had ever felt so protective of.

How ironically these roles had been reversed.

She had half a mind to storm to his office that instant, but restrained herself. She would give him her piece of mind tomorrow, no matter what.

"Lily...Liiiily !" Harry waved his hand in front of her face. When she looked up at him with those angry and determined eyes, he faltered, "Is... everything alright?"

"Yes, more than alright."

"If you say so." He said, looking at her uncertainly. "I won't have detention tomorrow by the way. Must be because of your extra lesson. See? He hasn't forgotten it. I have to go on the weekend though." He shrugged.

Her anger flared up again. Giving him _more_ detention because _he _wasn't there? This was so unfair! And if there was one thing Lily couldn't take, it was unfairness. Suddenly, she seemed to have lost all her fear of talking to Sev.

"Let's go to sleep. We'll have a looong day tomorrow." The eery way she said 'long' made a shiver run down Harry's spine.

UC

"Harry, this can't go on anymore!" Hermione exclaimed at the dinner table on Monday. She had been giving Harry worried and suspicious glances at most meals since the beginning of the school year so far. They had only intensified over time.

This was the breaking point apparently; when she couldn't hold it in anymore. Harry wondered when it would come.

"You have barely eaten anything the whole week!" She was doing something akin to whisper-screaming, which luckily none of the people of the barely populated Great Hall paid attention to.

No people were around them, so they hopefully didn't have the opportunity to overhear their conversation.

"Lay othhh 'im, Mione." Ron said with a mouthful of food, then swallowed. "Maybe it's because you're pestering him all the time that he doesn't eat. Let the poor bloke breathe."

"He will stop breathing if we don't do anything about his atrocious eating habits soon!"

"Does he look like he's starved?" Ron gestured at Harry, who was sitting next to him. "No! So he must eat enough when he isn't in the Great Hall!"

Harry looked up to share the exasperated look he usually shared with Lily when they bickered, Lily however seemed rather worried. She was probably worried about the detention.

"Appearances can be deceptive Ronald! Especially in the Wizarding world!" Harry would have paled, had his glamour charm not been perfectly in place. He shifted uncomfortably.

"Wait... What?... Are you suggesting that he..." Without warning, he burst out laughing.

Hermione glared at him. "Besides, he doesn't have enough TIME alone to eat all the meals he misses, since we are always with him."

"Er... guys, you know that I'm right here, right?" Harry said in a small voice, somehow irrationally afraid that they would hate him for speaking up. The Dursleys used to talk about him even when he was in the room, and at that moment they reminded him a bit of them.

"Sorry, mate. I got a bit carried away there."

"Of course, sorry, Harry." Hermione blushed. "I'm just worried about you. That you might be developing something serious..." Ron rolled his eyes and Harry frowned.

"Hermione, I'm okay, really." Harry tried to reassure her. "I'm just a bit ill is all, I haven't had much of an appetite lately, I might be coming down with something."

"You should go and see Madame Pomfrey for real then." Hermione said, still sounding unconvinced.

"I promise I will if I miss another meal again."

"Thanks Harry," she looked like she wanted to throw herself at him over the table, but restrained herself. "I am just so worried about you."

"You have no reason to be worried, Hermione." He reached over to pat her arm.

He turned to Lily, "Are you nervous about your lesson with Snape?" She had told them all that she would get extra lessons, just not that she and Sev were, or had been, friends.

Harry was surprised that among the nervousness she suddenly radiated anger and determination, "A bit. Come to think of it, I should go and get my potions supplies. See you later."

"Bye," They chorused.

"What's up with her?" Harry asked, bemused.

Hermione and Ron started laughing simultaneously, their earlier quarrel forgotten.

Harry narrowed his eyes at them. "What's up with you two?"

"It's just that... you usually get this look, when you're about to rush into danger to save someone." Ron explained.

"Yes, the exact same expression." Hermione added, "And it's funny that you don't see it."

"Hahaha, very funny." They started laughing again at the face he made. Harry didn't show it on the outside, but deep inside he was smiling at their happiness.

UC

Her anger and determination hadn't abated at all when she arrived in front of Sev's door. What's more, it seemed to have flared to a dangerous level and she had half a mind to kick the door in.

It took a lot of willpower to restrain herself and knock without alerting the whole castle.

Once she was inside the room, that was probably warded with silencing charms, she knew it wouldn't take much to set her off.

"Miss Jackson," Snape said, not looking up from the essays he had been marking. "I think I have made it quite clear in the letter you received today at lunch, that your extracurricular lessons have been cancelled." His voice was neutral. Very much so. It was so uncaring that it hurt.

"You do not require my assistance. Your work this week has been quite acceptable, especially considering Potter is your partner." He sneered.

This brought up even more feelings of fierce protectiveness and anger and Lily burst.

"What has he ever done to you, huh?!" She yelled. "Almost everything you say about him is an insult! No one deserves that, let alone Harry. Why did you turn into the bully you always hated?!"

She saw Snape pale and finally look up at her. He seemed to finally LISTEN!

"Miss Jackson you need to-"

"Harry doesn't deserve that!" Her anger only seemed to get worse. "He would never hurt anyone on purpose and every insult of yours makes him even more self-conscious than he already is!"

"Surely, you realise it's all an act to-"

"No, Severus! I've always stood up to Potter and it took me a glance to realise how different Harry is from him!"

"Miss Jackson-"

"Why do you hate me so much?" Lily asked, tears gathering in her eyes. "You're calling me this fake name, you keep ignoring me and you hate my future son who is like me!"

Snape stayed silent, not knowing what to say. It hurt to see her hurt like that.

"What have I done to you? Did we have a fight? I don't understand..." She held back a sob.

For a while Snape stayed silent. He didn't trust himself to speak without breaking down... Seeing her upset like this reminded him of the fight that destroyed their friendship and the many mistakes he had made. Maybe it would be better to let her go now, it would probably hurt less for the both of them.

But... he just couldn't bear to see her like this.

"I'm sorry, Lily," He whispered, for the first time in many years, not in control of his emotions. "I'm sorry."

Lily could hear that he wasn't simply apologising to her... it seemed like an apology for so much more... It was probably directed at her future self.

She couldn't help but feel sorry for this man that was Severus but also not. There was so much pain in his eyes and now his whole face seemed to be eaten by it.

"We had a fight in fifth year, but it was my fault." He said in bitterness. "Not yours. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Lily. I destroyed everything."

"I'm sure it's not entirely your fault." Lily said, hesitantly putting a comforting hand on the man's shoulder. "It's been so long ago. No matter what you did, I've certainly forgiven you. You shouldn't beat yourself up about that."

He just shook his head mutely. He didn't want to tell her, but he knew she deserved to know. She should know who she wanted to spend time with now.

"During fifth year... I spent more and more time with those Slytherin friends you hated." Lily nodded.

"I was foolish for doing so... but at the time they and the regime they followed seemed to be the solution for everything."

"Did you join-"

"No, not yet." Snape said bitterly. "That was after I screwed up our friendship by calling you... a mudblood."

It hurt a lot to hear that word coming from her best friend, but seeing the sorrow written on his face almost 20 years after it happened, made her forgive him almost instantly.

"It's okay, Sev." She said, "I forgive you."

His face snapped up, as if struck by a lightning. The sadness and hope in his eyes made her feel guilty for something she hasn't done yet.

She could understand her future self, though. Maybe she would have reacted differently with different circumstances.

The hope in his eyes quickly vanished when he spoke again, "You won't forgive me for what I am about to tell you."He was silent for a while, seemingly gathering himself.

Then he took a deep breath and Lily knew this would be something big. "I am responsible for your death."

For a moment she was silent, then, "I'm sure it's not-"

"There was a prophecy." He said suddenly, making Lily frown in confusion. This seemed rather random. "A prophecy I overheard as a death eater. The prophecy talked about someone who would vanquish the dark lord and I told him what I overheard." Dread started to fill Lily as she recognised what Severus was about to confess to her. She shook her head. "I didn't know it meant your son, you have to believe me... But it was my fault that he went after your family. You have every right to hate me."

Lily didn't know what to say, so she remained silent. She still had to think about what this meant. Neither one of them said anything for a while.

"You should leave." Severus spoke up quietly, back to not looking at her.

"Sev..."

When she didn't leave, he said,

"Please go." He was pleading brokenly now and Lily didn't know what else to do, so she left.


	19. Forgiveness

**An Unexpected Change**

**Chapter 19**

**A/n: To anyone who cares, I'm sorry for not updating. I'm just not too happy with how the story has been going so far. I don't even know why I posted it at all since I have like no clue what I want to do with it or where this is going. So, I'm really sorry if it doesn't satisfy you. I know that my story sucks so there's no need to tell me that in a review. And I'm sorry for that too.**

**(Thanks for all the nice reviews by the way, they motivate me to continue writing it.)**

Lily didn't know how to react. She didn't feel angry or even sad; she just felt numb.

And who could blame her? It was quite a shocking revelation. And before she could even make up her mind about it, she received orders to leave.

This was what the Imperius felt like, she supposed. Finally, she understood why it was tempting to just give in to the curse without a fight. Not having to think could be very liberating sometimes.

That was how she found herself in front of her secret place in the library, without any recollection of how she had gotten there.

"How did it go?" She heard a voice ask right away. She looked towards it, startled.

Oh… She had almost forgotten that Harry knew about this place too… Sweet, innocent Harry who had lost his parents as a baby… who had lost his parents because of a prophecy…

"Are you okay?" Harry queried worriedly. She nodded and sat down across from him.

There was silence for a while. Lily was looking at some insignificant dot on the floor while running through the whole conversation again and again in her mind.

Out of the corner of her eyes, she could see Harry wringing his hands and shifting nervously. It was easy to see Harry's hesitancy to ask her anything; his indecisiveness on how to proceed. Arrogant? She almost chuckled derisively; Sev couldn't be more wrong.

She actually managed to smile weakly, more with the purpose to calm Harry down than anything. She didn't want him to think she was angry at him.

There was one question was weighing on her mind more heavily than any other at the moment:

Should she tell him?

She had told Harry several times that keeping secrets wasn't the right way to go about things; that it was best to talk about what was bothering you. It would be hypocritical of her to not do as much… but at the same time she was sure Sev wouldn't want her to tell anyone, especially not Harry.

Even though she thought it concerned Harry a lot more than it did her since he was actually living in a time where this had already happened, it wasn't her place to tell.

It was not her secret.

"I…uh…I just found something out about Severus." Lily spoke up suddenly, breaking the awkward silence.

Harry looked up at her, obviously relieved about her finally saying something. "Oh, what was it about?"

"It was about a stupid fight that ended our friendship that I can't really imagine is truly worth ending our friendship over at the moment." Lily explained half of the revelations truthfully.

"So, you forgave him?"

"Yes…"

"…but?"

"There is something else he told me…" She took a deep breath. "It's about him hurting me terribly after we weren't friends anymore without knowing that it was me who would be hurt." She oversimplified it, but she couldn't tell Harry more than that. "And I don't really know what to think about it…" Her desperation crept into her voice. "I wanna feel angry about it, I really do! And I know I should, if not for me then for the other people he hurt with that decision…" Harry, the people he hurt as a death eater and even Potter. "But the way he told me…" She looked into Harry's eyes, silently pleading for understanding and forgiveness about something he didn't really know about. "He looked so sad, guilty and bitter, in so much pain…" She trailed off, remembering exactly how broken the much older version of her childhood friend had looked. "So, even if I want to hate him, I can't, because he's been doing it for way too long already…" Her voice was full of so much emotion; sadness, empathic pain and fear the most prevalent. She was afraid that no one would understand her side: Why, now that she really thought about what had happened, she felt the urge to run back to Severus and comfort him if just to get his painfilled expression out of her mind.

Lily felt a hand touch her shoulder, making her look up at Harry again. That she hadn't even realised that he had walked over to stand next to her seat, just showed how caught up she was in her thoughts and emotions. In all the time she had known him (which admittedly wasn't too long), Harry had only reluctantly accepted human contact, so for him to voluntarily initiate it… She must have looked really upset.

"I understand." He said quietly. His eyes mirrored that statement. He obviously didn't know what exactly he was supposed to understand, but he had apparently understood her desperation for him to understand. And that was what true friends did; they understood. And Lily wasn't ashamed to call Harry that already.

He stayed silent for a while, conveying his understanding through his actions alone.

Then he added, "You shouldn't feel guilty about being too forgiving, that's a good thing. You won't hurt anyone by minimising the hurt one person is going through."

She searched Harry's expression, still finding nothing but sincerity there. It would probably be a lot different if he knew what she was really talking about, but she took his words to heart anyway. Yes, it wouldn't hurt anyone if she made Severus feel a little better. He had been punishing himself enough as it was.

"You're right." She got up. "Maybe he's still there…" She was about to leave, but stopped when something that she hadn't thought about before occurred to her. She turned back around to look at Harry and frowned, "Why are you here? It's been only a few minutes since I left dinner."

He didn't seem to expect that question, "Err…I just wanted to read some stuff..." She smirked, finally catching Harry in a bad lie felt so good.

"Yeah, so much that you didn't wait for your friends to finish dinner like you usually do."

He pouted, "It was important stuff!"

"Thanks anyway." Lily said sincerely.

"What for?"

"For being important to you." And with that she left the secret place without even giving Harry a chance to say anything to that.

UC

Severus hadn't opened the door that day.

She had gone back to the library after continuously knocking on Severus' door for what felt like an eternity to see if Harry was still there. And he actually was. Still waiting for her.

"Hey," She greeted, not even sitting down. "What are you reading?"

"Just some interesting spells." Lily looked at the title of the book he was holding in his hands. It said '101 spells to conceal diseases'. She raised an eyebrow in question.

"It's to conceal, you know…" He lowered his voice. "…my diabetes better."

"Your glamour charms seem good enough."

"Well, you can never be prepared enough." His words were final and Lily knew that there was no point in arguing anymore. Harry was way too paranoid and stubborn.

"I think we should head back." Lily proposed. "It's almost after curfew."

"Hmm," Harry said affirmatively, already packing his stuff and getting up to leave. "How did it go?"

She shook her head. "It didn't go at all. He wasn't there." Or he was, but didn't open the door.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay." She shrugged. "Tomorrow is a day too. Besides, we have potions."

UC

And as the next day passed, Lily got more and more nervous about that.

Luckily, classes were there to distract her from her anxiety over another conversation with her 20 years older childhood friend after conversations that had left her hurt or sad.

But, during lunch break, her worries had time to catch up to her full force.

She shouldn't have left when he had asked her to leave.

That must have made him think that she would never forgive him. To be fair, he HAD looked like he wanted nothing more than for her to leave him alone.

At least Harry was eating properly again, which meant that she at least didn't have to worry about that.

Hermione was also very pleased with that turn of events and wasted no time praising him for that. Ron and Harry just looked at each other and rolled their eyes.

"I told you 'Mione," Ron was smug. He had even swallowed his food before speaking, proving that he was indeed capable of doing so. "I told you that there was nothing wrong with him. Harry can't do glamours."

"While I am eternally grateful that Harry is consuming a nutritious meal again, it doesn't necessarily mean that he isn't wearing a glamour." Harry didn't show the worry he felt at that statement. "Neither does it mean that he couldn't apply one since Harry is quite a capable wizard."

"Come on Hermione," Ron said playfully. "You just don't want to admit that you were wrong."

"Unlike you, I am capable of admitting my faults, Ronald."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

As the two of them continued their usual lunchtime bickering, Harry turned to Lily, "Nervous?"

"Yes, a bit." Harry raised his eyebrows. "Okay, more like about to have a panic attack nervous."

"Don't worry," He tried to comfort her. "He'll be happy that you forgave him so fast."

"IF he even hears me out."

"He has to," Harry pointed out. "You're new and you have a question about his class after all. As a teacher he's obligated to answer."

"From what I heard, he doesn't seem to care about stuff like that."

"Well, he can't just run away from you." Harry said in fake horror. "That would damage his reputation."

Lily chuckled, "Yeah, that's true."

After that, they finished lunch and left for potions.

Harry had managed to cheer her up for a while, but as she entered the cold potions classroom, her fears returned.

At least Severus seemed to be back to normal.

Only his paleness and the rings around his eyes were more obvious today, which actually made him scarier to the majority of the class.

Otherwise, he was behaving the same way he had been behaving the previous lesson with the only difference that he was avoiding Lily's table more fiercely.

They were brewing the calming draught today.

It was a miracle, really, that Lily (just like Hermione) managed to brew it perfectly despite how nervous she was feeling. Harry's potion on the other hand was a bluish shade of grey, similar to the colour of Ron's, instead of the clear blue it was supposed to be.

It had been predictable, but it still horrified Lily that someone could screw up their grades on purpose. She was a bit like Hermione in that aspect.

When she went to the front of the class to hand in a sample of her potion, she spoke up, loud enough for the entire class to hear, "Sir, I have a few remaining questions about the Hogwarts curriculum. May I stay after class?"

Severus stayed silent for a moment until answering in a low, emotionless voice, "Yes, you may, Ms Jackson."

She nodded and walked back to her seat, not believing that he had actually said yes. She smiled back at Harry, who was smiling at her, correctly guessing that the first successful part of the plan took away a bit of the fear she was feeling.

UC

Once everyone else had left, Severus used some complicated silencing and locking charms to ensure their privacy. "I understand that asking you to leave yesterday had been unreasonable on my part." He spoke smoothly without giving Lily a chance to say anything. "You deserve a chance to express your feelings towards my actions."

"Sev-"

"It is understandable if you decide not to attend potions classes anymore."

"I-"

"You will repeat the school year back in your time anyway. Your absence from some of your classes is easily excusable-"

"Severus!" She raised her voice to interrupt Severus' weird type of rambling. This finally made him listen to what she had to say. "I don't want to skip potions."

"Then, tutoring from one of the older students can be arranged-"

"No, you don't understand." She said, a lot less nervous now, after realising that Sev felt at least as nervous as she was. "I want to attend YOUR class." She almost chuckled at the completely baffled look that came onto his face at that.

"But… why? I am responsible for your death…"

There. The painfilled, hopeless look on his face was back. And Lily was prepared to do anything to wipe it away.

"No, Voldemort killed me."

"If it wasn't for me, he wouldn't have tried to!" He sounded angry at being contradicted; completely convinced that it was his fault alone.

"If it wasn't for you, he would have got to know it from somewhere else."

"But I was the only one-"

"Regardless, you didn't know that it was about me." She couldn't believe that she actually had to argue about this. Shouldn't the roles had been reversed in this argument?

Then again, this just showed how much Severus regretted it. "It was a horrible thing to do, yes. But it was only one mistake. You shouldn't punish yourself your whole life over this, you've been doing it long enough."

"You can't just-"

"I forgive you, Severus." She announced firmly, leaving no doubt at all in her voice. Severus finally looked up at her. His eyes showed so much pain and desperation that Lily was sure that it was the right thing to do.

For a moment he was too shocked to speak. Then he said in a quiet voice, "I don't deserve your forgiveness."

"But you do, Sev." She said shakily. She was sure that there were tears in her eyes; it hurt to see him like this. "You spent the whole time since that mistake trying to make up for it, right? That's why you're a teacher here, right? You wouldn't have become a teacher otherwise and Dumbledore wouldn't let a death eater teach here. You changed your whole life because of this. You deserve my forgiveness." Severus shook his head. "I forgive you and you can't say or do anything to change my mind, so you should better stop trying right now." She smiled. "You know how stubborn I am."

His eyes were shining traitorously now too.

"How could I ever forget that, Lily?" He asked both sadly and fondly. "You were… you were my best friend." The pain in that sentence showed that he was still grieving over her death.

"I am here now." She comforted him. "And we could use this chance to spend some time together. Despite the age difference."

Sev just shook his head again, still in disbelief over everything that was happening. Over being forgiven.

"Are your Mondays still free for tutoring lessons?"

"No…you have no need for them, " Lily deflated at that. "Your potions work is as excellent as it has always been." He smiled in remembrance. "I could, however, arrange some extra classes for one of my extraordinarily gifted students."

She was smiling brightly at that. "Thanks, Sev."

"You should leave now, before your classmates wonder whether I am the cause for your untimely demise."

"I won't disappoint you in those lessons!" She said as she hurried outside.

"I know you won't, Lily." Severus whispered fondly after her leaving form.


End file.
